Nocticadia

by Keri Lake

Bramwell was my moment. Even if he wanted nothing to do with me tomorrow and would cast me aside like leftovers, he was my greatest risk, and I needed to grab it by the balls and not let go. Literally.

“Tell me to stop, Lilia. I’m fucking begging you.”

“You’re going to destroy me. And I won’t stop you. It feels too fucking good to stop.”

“Every inch of you is something new to explore. A new texture. A new curve. Sensations I’ve been robbed of for so long.”

“Goddamn it, your skin is like fine silk. I could spend hours touching you and never tire of it.”

“Please, Devryck. I want this.”

and I’m going to enjoy every moment of knowing I’m the only man who’s ever tasted you.”

“And because I’m a selfish prick who has to live with the fact that I cannot have you to myself, I’m going to ruin you so that any boy who comes after me will leave you deeply unsatisfied, and you’ll be left fucking your own fingers, desperate to remember the time you had your professor’s face between your legs.”

“Damn you, Lilia. Goddamn you.”

“Devryck, I’m nervous.” “You should be. Your professor is about to eat your pussy, Lilia. There’s a whole host of reasons why that’s fucked up, but I’m too far gone to stop myself. At this point, there is nothing I want more than to feel that obscenely pink clit of yours against my tongue. And we will never do this again after tonight. Do you understand? This cannot happen again.”

Bramwell was right. He’d ruined me. Destroyed me from the inside out, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that I’d ever feel something so raw and thrilling and forbidden again.

“You’re a salacious little nymph, aren’t you? Turn over.”

“Did you think I’d feel sorry for you? That I’d be gentle? I feel this torture every fucking time you walk into a room.”

“So, I don’t feel sorry for you, Lilia. In fact, it warms my dirty bastard soul to know you ache this way.”

You don’t think every girl in class dreams of fucking you?” “I don’t give a damn about every other girl. There’s only one who crosses my mind a fuck-ton more than she should. So, I’m going to finish you, Lilia. I’m going to give you the release you’ve been craving, and I won’t touch you again. But this pussy belongs to me. You let any other undeserving prick near it, and I will cut out his tongue and send it to you in a specimen jar.”

Every sensation, every scent, every sound. I wanted him in my blood, pulsing through me, heating my skin on the nights when I’d be alone in my bed, thinking of this moment. Right here. Right now. Forever.

knew you’d be fucking beautiful when you came, but I didn’t imagine you’d look like this.”

Mine.

“Good fucking girl,”

“Show me those beautiful eyes,”

“What are you doing to me?” He rested his forehead against my shoulder, his body trembling, chest heaving. “What the fuck are you doing to me, Lilia?”

“Why did you come in here? Why do you insist on making it worse?” “Making it worse? Or making you want me as much as I want you?”

No matter what he said, what he did, how it all played out in the end, the fact was, he made me feel something extraordinary. Something no one had ever made me feel. Even at the risk of pain and longing.

“I don’t regret tonight.”

It was all new. It was all beautiful. And even if it was fleeting, it was perfect.

“Here, I thought it was the moth who would succumb to the fire.”

As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, Bramwell was different. Exceptional. And that made it hurt worse.

“I won’t soon forget last night. Tell me you understand how much it meant that you were here for my first success.”

Was he so clueless that he couldn’t understand that last night was more than that for me? That he’d turned my entire world upside down in just a matter of hours? That what we’d done had seared itself into my memory forever, and no matter how many boys I’d been with before, or men I ended up with after today, he would always be my true first?

The other part was the fact that she’d done something to me no other woman before her had accomplished: she’d actually made me feel. Not just mentally, but physically. Every nerve in my body hummed with the memory of her soft skin. The curves and edges and textures and flaws that made me crave an entire night of touching and exploring. Those defiant eyes that matched the fire of her hair, and that smart mouth that had not only mastered the words to get my blood boiling but also the sheer incontestable art of sucking cock.

Not something. Someone. Her.

and I longed to be the one to feed her every spoonful of depravity she craved.

I’d known, Lilia’s touch had branded itself into my flesh and blood, and now it was all I craved.

She was the warmth of the sun on a cold and rotting corpse. The first breath after a lifetime of death.

Lilia. Her name was a dirty scalpel plunged deep inside my chest, past crumbling bones and decayed flesh. It pierced the only organ I vowed could never be touched again and infected me with insufferable greed.

There was something between us, I just didn’t know what the fuck it was.

Everything after him would be mediocre.

His lips on mine. Fist threaded in my hair. His palm cuffing my throat.

“What do you want, Lilia? Want me to proclaim my attraction and fuck you in front of the student body and administration? To let everyone know that I’m so bitterly obsessed with you, I’ve rubbed my dick raw since you left? Maybe I should apologize to the board this afternoon for a half-assed report, because my student’s pussy was all I could think about when I was writing it.”

“No, I can’t look at you right now because I’m crawling out of my skin wanting to touch you.”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, either.”

“Let’s just call it what it was–one amazing night. One I hope you remember with the same relentless longing and anger and ache that I feel every time I look at you. It fucking hurts to know that I can’t have you, Lilia. I lose in that respect. But that is the tragic reality in all of this.

“We’re not anything.” I hated the bitter taste of disappointment on my tongue from saying that aloud.

He was jealous. And damn it, the thought of that made my twisted little heart sing.

“You push and you pull, and I feel like I’m being torn apart.”

“There isn’t a sharp enough blade to carve you out of my head, Lilia. I’d have to tear out my own goddamn eyeballs to keep from noticing your every move. Who you talk to. Who you fucking kiss.”

“We’re more than that, and you know it.” The tight clench of his teeth almost made me think he was insulted by what I’d said. “I don’t, actually.”

“These little things you do that mess with my head.”

“There’s a violence in my blood. This rage that twists in my gut, and it makes me sick. I’m fucking sick when it comes to you. That I could even fathom breaking his neck …”

“I can’t reel it in because I still feel you. I still smell that nauseating sweet scent on your skin that drives me fucking crazy. That sickening shade of lipstick that takes me back to that night. I’m losing my mind!”