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“Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to lie next to you? It’s killing me.” Another hungry sweep of his eyes and he licked his lips. “I’ve been numb for as long as I can remember. You’re the first thing I’ve felt in years, Lilia. All I want to do is touch you.”
“You’re a sickness inside of me that begs never to be cured. Infecting me with this unshakable craving for things I shouldn’t want.”
Bramwell was my moment. Even if he wanted nothing to do with me tomorrow and would cast me aside like leftovers, he was my greatest risk, and I needed to grab it by the balls and not let go. Literally.
“Tell me, Little Moth. Have I ever eaten your pussy in these fantasies?”
“And because I’m a selfish prick who has to live with the fact that I cannot have you to myself, I’m going to ruin you so that any boy who comes after me will leave you deeply unsatisfied, and you’ll be left fucking your own fingers, desperate to remember the time you had your professor’s face between your legs.”
Bramwell was right. He’d ruined me. Destroyed me from the inside out, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that I’d ever feel something so raw and thrilling and forbidden again. I threw the pillow to the side and dared to lift my head, watching him devour me like a death row meal. The slurping sounds and moans and growls he made were lewd and filthy, and spoke of a man who fervently enjoyed the task.
“Did you think I’d feel sorry for you? That I’d be gentle? I feel this torture every fucking time you walk into a room.” He pressed a thumb into the crease of my ass, and I sucked in a breath as he threatened to breach the tight ring of muscles there, pushing and massaging. “So, I don’t feel sorry for you, Lilia. In fact, it warms my dirty bastard soul to know you ache this way.”
“Please don’t tease me. I can’t stand it anymore.” “Don’t tease you? The way you tease me every goddamn day, with these short skirts and those pouty, fuckable lips? That obnoxious lipstick that I imagine smeared all over my cock.” “You don’t exactly dress like a priest yourself. You don’t think every girl in class dreams of fucking you?” “I don’t give a damn about every other girl. There’s only one who crosses my mind a fuck-ton more than she should. So, I’m going to finish you, Lilia. I’m going to give you the release you’ve been craving, and I won’t touch you again. But this pussy belongs to
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“I knew you’d be fucking beautiful when you came, but I didn’t imagine you’d look like this.” “Like what?”
“Why did you come in here? Why do you insist on making it worse?” “Making it worse? Or making you want me as much as I want you?”
Except, it was. Everything was entirely new. The way he made me feel. The way he gave without asking for anything in return. The way his arms felt around me, and the dirty, titillating words he whispered in my ear. It was all new. It was all beautiful. And even if it was fleeting, it was perfect.
“You should probably hate me right now,” he said, his voice stained with remorse. “I probably should. But I don’t.” With a mirthless chuckle, he shook his head. “Here, I thought it was the moth who would succumb to the fire.”
I paced my office, running my hands through my hair. Hours had passed since Lilia left. Hours I’d sat at my desk, trying to focus on something that wasn’t my tongue in her pussy. It was futile. She’d crawled beneath me, inside of me, infecting me with the kind of drunken lust that had me pausing to fuck my own hand every hour.
She was the warmth of the sun on a cold and rotting corpse. The first breath after a lifetime of death.
I wanted the pain of it. The impossibility. The absolute rapture of claiming her for myself. And therein hid the tragic reality of just how tempting she’d become—if fucking her meant an eternity in hell, I’d welcome damnation with a goddamn smile.
“What do you want, Lilia? Want me to proclaim my attraction and fuck you in front of the student body and administration? To let everyone know that I’m so bitterly obsessed with you, I’ve rubbed my dick raw since you left? Maybe I should apologize to the board this afternoon for a half-assed report, because my student’s pussy was all I could think about when I was writing it.” He ran his hands through his hair, pacing in front of me. “No, I can’t look at you right now because I’m crawling out of my skin wanting to touch you.” A look of disgust claimed his face as he gestured toward my legs.
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He was jealous. And damn it, the thought of that made my twisted little heart sing.
He was moody, like rainy days and bitter coffee. Sensual whispers in dark corners and the slow burn of fine whiskey.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away from you after this. But let me be very clear,” he gritted through clenched teeth as his hand gripped my throat. “I don’t share. If anyone else so much as looks at this pussy, I’ll take pleasure in dissecting him, starting with his eyeballs.”
“I’ve never felt something so intense before. Every moment with you is something new for me.” “This is all new for me, too.”
“Jealousy is a callow schoolboy’s emotion that ends in hard feelings and bloody noses. What I feel for you, Miss Vespertine, would destroy lives.”
knew that what I felt for him had evolved into something completely foreign. A beautiful complexity that was as pure and thrilling as it was forbidden.
If Heaven existed, I'd found it in those ancient, dark hallways, under cold misty skies with autumn's wet leaves sticking to the soles of my boots, in the scent of coffee and old books. And him. My moody and devilishly handsome professor.
“No. My father is who?” The ringing died down, only to start up again. I inwardly growled at the obnoxious intrusion, not offering so much as a peek at who it might’ve been. “Just tell me.” “Dr. Lippincott.”
“Why would I lie? He fucked your mother, got her pregnant, and Bramwell kicked him out of the project. So terrified that his wife was going to leave him destitute, he urged your mother to get an abortion. She disappeared soon after.”
“That’s why you invited me here. Why you kept telling me to meet with him. It had nothing to do with my paper. My academics.” She smirked and shook her head. “You’re smart, I’ll give you that. While I was intrigued by your knowledge on Noctisoma, I found it lacking. Do I think anything you’ve done in your life warrants a full ride scholarship to this institution? No. You’re a dime a dozen, Lilia.”
I couldn’t look at her. My feelings for Lilia had grown to be complicated. The lies to protect her no longer came to me as easily as before.
“The decision was made the moment I met you, though. To stay here. I choose you.”
I pushed past the revolting lack of feeling and hooked my finger beneath her chin, turning her to face me. “I choose you,” I said, and pulled her in for a kiss, feeling the smile against my lips. “And believe me when I say, you’re hard to forget, Miss Vespertine.”
Over her shoulder, she shot me a smile–one so fucking beautiful, I wanted to frame it. Capture it. Study the alchemy of it. How wonderfully intoxicating one simple expression could be.
It was there that my failures and her worries were swept away, cleansed by the salt and air and the sounds of calm that reverberated off the surrounding rock walls. It was there that I began to wonder if what I felt for Lilia was something more than I cared to admit.
“You can’t leave. I won’t let you. You hear me? I won’t let you fucking die. You are my most important thing, and I swear, if you don’t come out of this, I will fucking hunt you down in the afterlife.”
“Hey.” Fingers tangled into a tight grip at my crown, and he pulled my head back, staring down at me. “You don’t have to be scared. I will never hurt you, Lilia. In fact, I’ll rain hell on anyone who ever hurts you again.” I loved him. Every cell, every fiber of my being couldn’t hide that truth. Even if I wasn’t bold enough to say it or brave enough to risk the universe stealing it away from me, the words were as real as my fears. The words I kept secret like all my other trinkets–safely tucked away.
felt like I’d slipped into a stranger’s world, trying to find comfort in a place that had become foreign to me. Dracadia was my comfort. My home. Not this. Not here.
What I felt for Lilia wasn’t healthy. Beyond simple obsession, it was a sickening possession. Savage and rapacious, bordering on violence.
I’ll preface this by saying that no one in this world is more important to me than you and your sister. Every decision I made, I did out of love for the two of you.
“It was you at the door. Then … I saw you drown her. You drowned her!” The smirk on his face blurred behind more memories. The figure runs a blade over my mother’s wrists. Thick drops of red blood plink across the stark, white tiles.
“I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.” “You’re safe with me, Lilia.”
A look of vexation knitted his brows as he turned away. “When I entered that room and saw you practically naked on the floor and blood everywhere ...” A muscle ticced in his jaw. “Believe me when I say you don’t want to know what happened to Angelo.”
His finger hooked beneath my chin, drawing me back to him. “Don’t hide from me, Lilia. You are no less beautiful than that day you walked into my classroom and stole my fucking breath.”
He’d fucked with the only two people in the world who’d ever mattered to me, and for that, he would die a slow and painful death. As he was well known to stop into my office for a drink, I figured the means of inoculation would be relatively simple. I’d call him in to discuss the new variant, offer him a drink, then watch his world crumble.
Like staring at a fucking mirror. An exact replica of me. Caedmon?
“Because it’s true. Spencer isn’t even mine. He was a product of my wife’s affair with your father.”
“Her mother seemed to have natural resistance, as was documented in her chart. When that changed, I don’t know. What I do know is, I saw Vanessa with Lippincott four years ago. About the time she got sick. And I firmly believe it was that encounter which sealed her fate.”
learned from Spencer that Mel had made a drunken confession to him, the night he drugged her.” She seemed to shift in her chair, as if uncomfortable in her restraints. “She claimed to have a sexual relationship with his father.” Her eyes fell on me, the expression in them far less cavalier. “Your father, essentially.”
“To live among the wealthy, you have to learn how to manipulate the game, or they will eat you alive.
“It was you. You were after him. You were the one he was afraid of. You’re the one who brutalized that rich guy, the CEO, or whatever he was.”
“You got Lilia’s mother pregnant. My father kicked you out, so you got pissed off and swapped the injections. You infected those women. You sent them to their deaths, and our family took the blame!”
“Weeks, I’ve watched you. In class. While you sleep.” His confession sent a shiver of distress up my spine, while the visual of him watching me sleep played inside my head. “He doesn’t deserve you. None of them do.”
My muscles lurched, my body keening with the urge to kill every bastard in the room.

