Nocticadia

by Keri Lake

Leave it to me to get lost in a perfect square.

What an asshole. It was a wonder he saw anything past his own nose.

“Impervious.” “Impervious?” “Yes. It means nothing bad can hurt you. Ever. When you feel like Death is coming for you, you say that word. Death can’t touch you, then.”

“So, I softened the peach in public.” “What?” “I paddled the pink canoe in the parking lot at Daly’s Market.” “Paddled the what?” I shook my head, trying to decipher what the hell she was talking about. “What are you saying?” “Damn it all, I finger-banged myself, okay?” “You masturbated in public?”

“Jayda, I’m not showing up to class looking like Britney Spears circa nineteen ninety-eight. This is college, for fucks sake. No one wears knee-high socks.”

Even the name has to be creepy right? Ignore the name

Standing at the front of the class, Professor Bramwell delivered his lecture on Cordyceps–a parasitic fungus that infected ants.

Curious Moth. A nickname. A fitting one, too, given the fact that I had no intentions of avoiding the flame.

“Just to clarify–we’re friends.” Spencer chuckled, shaking his head. “Who hurt you?”

“They’ll open at the end of dinner and release the moths into the wild.” “I’m sure the bats are looking forward to it.”

Death felt like a warm blanket.

“Don’t fuck with me, Miss Vespertine. You want to play hardball? Know that mine are made of steel.” “That sounds painful.”

“Jesus. Did you have to take a class to write this bad?”

“You’re a sickness inside of me that begs never to be cured. Infecting me with this unshakable craving for things I shouldn’t want.”

“Here, I thought it was the moth who would succumb to the fire.”

I really was a dumb fucking moth.

if fucking her meant an eternity in hell, I’d welcome damnation with a goddamn smile.

“What do you want, Lilia? Want me to proclaim my attraction and fuck you in front of the student body and administration? To let everyone know that I’m so bitterly obsessed with you, I’ve rubbed my dick raw since you left? Maybe I should apologize to the board this afternoon for a half-assed report, because my student’s pussy was all I could think about when I was writing it.”

Did you fuck your professor?

“Jesus,” I muttered. “Somebody’s horny.”

“Jesus. That looks like enough cum to impregnate a village.”

“Tell you what. You give me a name? I’ll tell you if you’re fucking your own brother.”

“If you don’t come out of this, I’m burning all of your expensive coats.” “You’re not … burning … my coats,”

“No. No quiet sounds from you. I want to hear you fucking scream. You’re in the throes of fire now, Little Moth. Show me how much it burns.”

“I’m willing to go wherever you want, baby. For that much? You can do whatever the fuck you want.” Surely, that wouldn’t have included infecting her with parasites.

“Bring a knife to a gunfight … well, it’s just stupid.”

So I did as he told me. I got on the fucking bike.

“Weeks, I’ve watched you. In class. While you sleep.” His confession sent a shiver of distress up my spine, while the visual of him watching me sleep played inside my head. “He doesn’t deserve you. None of them do.”

As if contemplating the fucking question? What the fuck? The alternative was a cozy eternal nap.

“IamashadowIamaghostIamnothingIamashadowIamaghostIamnothing,” he whispered over and over. “You’re no ghost, nor shadow. You are my brother.” I edged closer, careful to keep some distance between me and the business end of that blade. “It’s me, Caed.”

“That I would kill for you without a beat of hesitation, or remorse. And yet, at the same time, I could be reduced to nothing more than a pile of ash without you. I’m weak for you, Lilia.”

This is Mr. Caed. Isn’t he yummy?! He drives a fucking motorcycle to school, Lil. Think I’m going to ask him out for coffee tomorrow! I breathed hard through my nose to calm the frantic thrumming of my heart. Shit. Shit. Shit.