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Smiling when she looked so tired and uncomfortable didn’t feel right, but being brave made her happy. So I was brave.
“One of these days you’re going to fall in love, son. Don’t settle for just anyone. Choose the girl that doesn’t come easy, the one you have to fight for, and then never stop fighting. Never”—she took a deep breath—“stop fighting for what you want. And never”—her eyebrows pulled in—“forget that Mommy loves you. Even if you can’t see me.” A tear fell down her cheek. “I will always, always love you.”
I decided a long time ago I would feed on the vultures until a dove came along. A pigeon. The kind of soul that didn’t impede on anyone; just walked around worrying about its own business, trying to get through life without pulling everyone else down with its own needs and selfish habits. Brave. A communicator. Intelligent. Beautiful. Soft-spoken. A creature that mates for life. Unattainable until she has a reason to trust you.
“Ah! A smile,” I said. Simply calling it a smile, like it wasn’t the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, seemed wrong,
She had no idea how beautiful she was. That made her even more appealing. “You look fine. Let’s go, I’m starvin’.”
It was a damn shame; she was the first girl that I had ever wanted to open the door for. I’d been looking forward to that moment, and she didn’t even notice.
HE’S SO AGGHH
A smug smile crept across her face. “You think I’m too good for you.” Unbelievable. She really didn’t get it. “I can’t think of a single guy I know that’s good enough for you.”
AHH
“I’ve been drinking, all right? Your skin was three inches from my face, and you’re beautiful, and you smell fucking awesome when you sweat. I kissed you! I’m sorry! Get over yourself!” My answer made her pause, and the corners of her mouth turned up. “You think I’m beautiful?” I frowned. What a stupid question. “You’re gorgeous and you know it. What are you smiling about?”
“You just want me to hold you until you fall asleep?”
She happily nestled her cheek against my chest. With my arms wrapped around her tight, it was hard to keep it together. “You don’t need an excuse, Pigeon. All you have to do is ask.”
“In another life, I could love you.” I watched her for a moment, staring into her glassed-over eyes. She was drunk, but just for a moment it didn’t seem wrong to pretend that she meant it. “I might love you in this one.”
Sometime between the moment we met, and holding her on that bathroom floor, I had fallen in love with her.
“I know we’re fucked up, all right? I’m impulsive and hot tempered, and you get under my skin like no one else. You act like you hate me one minute, and then you need me the next. I never get anything right, and I don’t deserve you . . . but I fucking love you, Abby. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone or anything, ever. When you’re around, I don’t need booze or money or the fighting or the one-night stands . . . all I need is you. You’re all I think about. You’re all I dream about. You’re all I want.”
“You know why I want you? I didn’t know I was lost until you found me. I didn’t know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You’re the one thing I’ve got right. You’re what I’ve been waiting for, Pigeon.”
“Well, I belong to you!” I screamed. I put so much force behind my words, I could feel all the blood rush to my face. Abby met my glare, refusing to even flinch. I looked at her lips, panting. “I belong to you,” I whispered, my anger fading as desire took over.
