The Serpent's Shadow (Kane Chronicles, #3)

by Rick Riordan

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.

The King Tut masks flew off the penguins, revealing them to be—gasp—penguins.

Magicians have to be careful when they look into the Duat. Best-case scenario, you’ll get mildly nauseous. Worst-case scenario, your brain will explode.

He was a beautiful monster, if you like psychotic falcon-headed lions.

For reasons none of us quite understood, Khufu loved things that ended in -O, like avocados, Oreos, and armadillos.

“Noble,” I agreed. “That’s the first word that comes to mind when I think of pigeons.”

He was sculpting tiny shabti penguins out of his mashed potatoes and bringing them to life.

MASHED POTATO PENGUINS!?!?!?!

Meanwhile Thoth picked up a Gibson guitar. He struck a power chord that shook the arena floor. He’d gotten better since I’d last heard him. The chord actually sounded like a chord, not like a mountain goat being tortured.

Last week she’d created a magical Thermos with googly eyes that levitated around the room, yelling, “Exterminate! Exterminate!” until it smacked me in the head.

Imagine someone revving a dirt bike, then blowing a trumpet. Now imagine those sounds amplified twenty times, coming at you in a blast of breath that smells of rotten fish and pond scum. That’s what a giant hippo’s war cry is like.

“Cows with laser beams?” I protested. “That’s completely unfair!”

At this point, I was starting to wonder, Why me? All I wanted was to infiltrate the most dangerous part of the Duat, steal the shadow of the primordial Lord of Chaos, and save the world. Was that too much to ask?

Sadie rode shotgun. Zia and I climbed in back. Bes slammed the accelerator and played a game of hit-the-demon. “Five points if you can hit that bloke with the cleaver head!” Sadie screamed. Boom! Cleaver-head went flying over the hood. Sadie applauded. “Ten points if you can hit those two dragonfly things at once.” Boom, boom! Two very large bugs hit the windshield. Sadie and Bes laughed like crazy. Me, I was too busy yelling, “Crevice! Look out! Flaming geyser! Go left!”