The Slap

by Christos Tsiolkas

Through the years he had learned to rein his body in, to allow himself to only let go in solitude; farting and pissing in the shower, burping alone in the car, not washing or brushing his teeth all weekend when she was away at conferences. It was not that his wife was a prude, she just seemed to barely tolerate the smells and expressions of the male body. He

I already hate this writing style. Seriously. "Through the years he had learned to rein his body in, to allow himself to only let go in solitude; farting and pissing in the shower, burping alone in the car, not washing or brushing his teeth all weekend when she was away at conferences. It was not that his wife was a prude, she just didn't seem to tolerate the smells and expressions of a male body". Ugh Ugh Ugh. Seriously who writes this. A paragragh because a wife doesn't like smelling a fart in bed, or unbrushed teeth... oh the poor man with his manly man smells that his non-prudish wife can't tolerate.

himself would have no problem falling asleep in a girls’ locker room, surrounded by the moist, heady fragrance of sweet young cunt. Afloat, still half-entrapped in sleep’s tender clutch, he twisted onto his back and shifted the sheet off his body. Sweet young cunt. He’d spoken out loud.

Oh, it gets better "He himself would have no problem falling asleep in a girls' lockeroom, surrounded by the moist, heady fragrance of sweet young cunt" Because not only do man have manly smells that non-prudish wives can't tolerate, but they also prefer the young sweeter smelling cunts that non-prudish wives just don't have???

But he was definitely not that. He simply loved women. Young, old, those just starting to blossom and those beginning to fade. And sheepishly, almost embarrassed at his own vanity, he knew that women loved him. Women loved him.

save me now.

Stormed right in like a storm. Or a jerk.

Eye rolling.

Why do I care?

Hugo from his wife’s arms and without a word carried him into their bedroom and chucked him on the bed. He couldn’t remember what he said to him, but he had screamed out an order so loud and so close to the little boy’s ear that the child had recoiled and started a long, disbelieving sob. Realising he had terrified the boy, Hector scooped him into his arms and rocked him to sleep.

Private school boys always seemed effete; private