again. Normally I go away for only one night. Day one of three feels so much more expansive. It’s been the first opportunity to really gasp oxygen away from the child I’ve protected from the worst of my grief, all this time. Grief that is rushing to the surface safely in Charlie’s absence. I can’t upset him from here. Can’t scare him. I can fully lose it and he won’t know. I feel like I’ve never had this much space, nor this much emotion to tip into it.
