He Who Fights with Monsters 10 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #10)

by Shirtaloon

“If getting in trouble with diamond-rankers from time to time is what it takes to sleep in a cloud bed and wake up to quality breakfast every day, then those diamond-rankers can sod right off.”

“Which leads me to one question: do you even lift, bro?” “Bro, that’s ice cold.

“Do we go down there?” Clive asked. “There are stairs, but I do not want to go down there.” “Are you scared of a hole just because there’s a weird noise coming out of it?” Jason asked, then frowned as something occurred to him. “You know, I once asked your wife the exact same question in a very different context.”

“Do you die a lot?” “Not that often. More than most.”

“How is it that the gods haven’t struck you down yet?” Carlos asked. “My working theory is that I’m too sexy.”

“You’ll have to forgive my taking the chance to villain monologue,” he told her amiably. “I haven’t gone full chuuni like this in a while and it’s the little things that make life worth living, you know? So, please bear with me while I explain my evil plan.

“Humphrey’s mum told us about you. Did you think you could ask her about me without her letting us know someone’s looking? She’s loyal to the Adventure Society, but she’ll burn it to the ground if that’s what her son needs.”

“At least your friends didn’t all sleep with your imaginary wife,”

“Are we not meant to call you Daddy?” she asked. “Because Sophie said—” “LINDY!”

“I love stupid people,” Neil said happily as the golem fought clear of the throng to join the expedition. “No you don’t,” Belinda pointed out. “You’re right,” Neil said. “Let’s kill them all.”

I’m trying out forgiveness as a philosophy.” “And how is that working out?” “It’s bloody hard. So many people suck, and they’re usually the ones you have to forgive. If it was all forgiving beautiful princesses, I’d be all over it.”

“Why would the undead being ugly have any bearing on victory here?” “Because it’s not about what you do, Garth; it’s about how good you look doing it.”