A Man Without a Country

by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.

No, I am not running for President, although I do know that a sentence, if it is to be complete, must have both a subject and a verb.

Starting when I was only twelve years old, I have never chain-smoked anything but unfiltered Pall Malls. And for many years now, right on the package, Brown and Williamson have promised to kill me. But I am now eighty-two. Thanks a lot, you dirty rats. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don’t let anybody tell you any different.

not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka Christians,