And yet if two people learn to make the distinction between the dross and the gold, it can be a great help. Instead of saying, “That’s just the way he is, and I hate it,” remember that the part of him you hate isn’t the real, permanent him. In Romans 7:14–25, Paul speaks about this dynamic in himself: “I do the very things I hate” (7:15) and therefore “it’s not really me doing it, it’s the sin living within me” (7:20). This does not mean that Paul doesn’t take full responsibility for his actions, but he knows that the sinful actions are not from his “innermost being” where he “delights in the
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