The Dice Man: This book will change your life.

by Luke Rhinehart

Freud was a very great man, but I never get the impression that anyone ever effectively stroked his penis.

You’re a classic case of Horney’s: the man who comforts himself not with what he achieves, but with what he dreams of achieving.’

There was an ill-intended rumor that he had Arlene take the pill and use an inter-uterine device, a diaphragm and a douche, while he used a contraceptive, always used her anus anyway and then always practiced coitus interruptus. Whatever his methods, they had worked. They were childless, Jake was satisfied and Arlene was bored and longed to have a baby.

Children are really quite nice once you get to know them.

We formed a deep, irrational, obviously neurotic need for one another: love – one of society’s many socially accepted forms of madness. We got married: society’s solution to loneliness, lust and laundry.

The woman unzipped the fly of Jesus and reached a hand in and enclosed the Sacred Tool. It was, all accounts agree, filled only with agape.

Success and failure mean simply the satisfaction and frustration of desire. It is real; it is important; the child doesn’t have to be rewarded or punished by society in order to prefer success to failure.

‘You’re showing real independence.’ ‘Don’t bother, Luke,’ Mrs Rhinehart said. ‘If I needed your praise I wouldn’t be independent.’

Being an American born and bred, it was in my bones to kill.

Being an American I had to kill.

The pump of a penis in the anus is, to be precise, a pain in the ass. The feel of a nice hot prick moiling in one’s mouth is certainly an experience that everyone should try, but is for me one of the minor sexual pleasures. The flood of hot semen into the mouth is pleasing enough if one takes any pride at all in one’s work, but it is at best a psychological pleasure rather than a physical one. Choking on oversalted soup is not my idea of sensuous bliss, but I admit my limitations.

The human is built to imitate, and every male has stored within him a thousand female gestures, phrases, attitudes and acts which long to be expressed, but are buried in the name of masculinity.