How will I ever survive this? Wanting Whit. Will it ever go away? I don’t think so because haven’t I always loved him? Loved him without realizing, without him knowing what it really meant. It’s like he knows me better than I know myself. My love for him feels clean and untouched by worry and fear. By anxiety. It feels like that stuff is all separate, like it can’t touch me. I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how he makes me feel so free because most of the time, I’m just pretending. Faking it until I make it. Going through the motions until I have to face the inevitable.
