Once Mara had emotionally regulated and processed, then, and only then, was she able to tell me she was all done, accessing her whole brain for communication and problem solving. Then, and only then, was she ready to learn about her reactive behavior versus what she could do next time. She knows she isn’t supposed to hit me. She doesn’t want to hit me. Just like I don’t want to yell at people, and sometimes I do. Sometimes our bodies override our brains because learning how to find the pause between initial reaction and secondary response is a skill to hone. It doesn’t just develop. We are
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