Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

by Alyssa Blask Campbell

When we act on the urge to send other children away from one child’s big emotions, especially if our survival brain is in the driver’s seat, we send the message that emotions are meant to be handled in isolation. We send the message that they are not to be curious about other people’s emotions. We send the message that big expression is shameful and/or scary and separate from “what we are doing.” When instead we say to the curious or concerned child, “Yes, you’re welcome here, too,” we send the message that it’s normal to express emotions, that we can choose to be a peaceful witness of emotions, that we can do this together, that we can hold space for and comfort one another in moments of big emotions. We show them that emotions can be processed collaboratively.