Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

by Alyssa Blask Campbell

Include the older sibling. When a new sibling joins the family, the other child(ren) might wonder what their role is now. You can help them feel included and loved by bringing them into the new daily routines. Some ways to include an older sibling are reading a book to their younger sibling, feeding the baby a bottle, getting a diaper and wipes when it’s time to change the baby, humming or singing to their sibling, and narrating what the younger sibling is doing. You can model these behaviors and tell the big kid why you’re doing them. “Ohhh, your sister is learning how to move her body to try and roll to the toy. Look, she’s stretching her arms and kicking her legs. We can say, ‘Wow! Lydia, you’re getting so close to rolling over. I see you practicing!’” You can also invite the older sibling to wonder with you about what the baby is asking for when they cry. Their guesses will give you some information about what they understand about babies so far. Some kids love hearing about what they did as a baby or seeing pictures and videos of themselves at the age their sibling is. You can share with them and talk about things they liked and didn’t like as another way of including them. As you include the big sibling, you can set safety boundaries and let them know what the other child can/can’t do yet. You know a newborn can’t walk, but that might be news to an older sibling. Ultimately, we can trust that older siblings want to connect, feel included, and are loving humans. When ...