Attachment is rooted in safety—a human child is dependent on a caregiver for survival and that means being lovable so someone will be there to care for you. In each interaction, children are unknowingly asking, “Am I lovable? When? Am I safe? How do I stay/get safe?” They are constantly researching, through trial and error, noticing our reactions and adjusting their behavior accordingly. Over time, these patterns of interaction and adjustment form an attachment style:
