There Is Room for All of You Here

by Michaela Angemeer

before my birthday i miss everyone i’ve ever known even though i don’t know them anymore my life flashes before my eyes usually the bad parts i’m never sure if i’m dying or just getting older maybe it’s all the same

i would be more upset that you forgot about me if i didn’t forget about me too

i’m grieving my father but he’s still alive and i don’t know if i’ll have any feelings left when he dies

just when i thought i got used to everyone leaving more people are planning their departures and i can’t do another goodbye instead i’m waiting at arrivals for the next friend who feels like family the next person i’ll love the person i’ll become now that you’re gone

i hope you know that being open to love again after giving up on it is one of the greatest acts of bravery. even though you’re terrified, you are so courageous. i know vulnerability feels like prying your chest open with scarred palms, but what if it’s worth it? what if you find someone just as soft as you. what if you find someone who knows you don’t deserve to be discarded. what if being seen becomes effortless. what if feeling doesn’t have to hurt. what if they make everything you’ve been through worth it. what if they teach you how to love again.

i’m sorry did i confuse you with my inconsistency if we’re still together in three years we should get married but i’m not sure i ever want to live with somebody i wanna see you every minute of every day but i also wanna be alone to pluck the chin hairs on my face do you wanna adopt my dog or never see me again sometimes i forget we’re more than just friends i want to blame my gemini placement or my mom and dad but honestly i don’t know why my mind changes every time the wind blows and my mood changes as often as the tide

i wanna be softer than i’ve ever been for you

i love how you look in the traffic lights i’ll drive you to work every night your kiss goodbye worth tired tomorrow your how did i get so lucky worth early mornings the truth is for you i’d drive thirty thousand miles the truth is for you there’s nothing i wouldn’t do