The Golden Lily (Bloodlines, #2)

by Richelle Mead

unfastened my seatbelt. “That’s the third time I’ve heard ‘your boyfriend.’ What’s going on with that? Why won’t anyone say Brayden’s name?” Neither of them answered right away. Finally, Jill said sheepishly, “Because none of us can remember it.” “Oh, come on! I’d expect that from Adrian but not you guys. It’s not that weird of a name.” “No,” admitted Eddie. “But there’s just something so… I don’t know. Unmemorable about him. I’m glad he makes you happy, but I just start to tune out whenever he talks.”

Even more surprising, I glanced up at him once, expecting to see him concentrating and counting. Instead, he was regarding me with a soft expression… an affectionate one, even. Flushing, I looked away. Amazingly, the smell of coffee still clung to him, even though he hadn’t worked today. Maybe no amount of showering could get rid of that scent. Yet, as much as I loved eau de coffee, I found myself thinking of the way Adrian’s cologne had smelled at Wolfe’s.

automatically checked for dents and scratches. Adding insult to injury, Adrian was actually smoking as he lay on the hood and stared up at the sky. Clouds were moving in, but a half-moon could occasionally be seen. “Relax, Sage. I won’t leave a scratch. Really, this is surprisingly comfortable for a family car. I would’ve expected—” He turned his head toward me and froze. I had never seen him so still—or so quiet. His shock was so thorough and intense that he actually dropped his cigarette. “Ahh,” I cried, springing forward, lest the burning cigarette damage the car. It landed harmlessly on the asphalt, and I quickly stamped it out. “For the last time, will you get off of there?” Adrian slowly sat up, eyes wide. He slid off the hood and didn’t seem to leave any marks. Obviously, I’d have to check it later. “Sage,” he said. “What are you wearing?” I sighed and stared down at the dress. “I know. It’s red. Don’t start. I’m tired of hearing about it.” “Funny,” he said. “I don’t think I could ever get tired of looking at it.” Those words drew me up short, and a rush of heat went through me. What did he mean? Was I so outlandish-looking that he couldn’t stop staring at the crazy spectacle? Surely… surely he wasn’t implying that I was pretty…

“It is terrifying,” said Adrian. “And weird, for lack of a better word. And part of you knows… well, part of you knows something’s not right. That your thinking’s not right. But what do you know about that? All we can go on is what we think, how we see the world. If you can’t trust your own mind, what can you trust? What other people tell you?” “I don’t know,” I said, for lack of a better answer. His words struck me as I thought how much of my life had been guided by the edicts of others.

“I did it because he wasn’t fair to you. Because you deserve credit for what you’ve done. Because he needs to realize you aren’t the person he’s always thought you were. He needs to see you for who you really are, not for all the ideas and preconceptions he’s built up around you.” The power in Adrian’s gaze was so strong that I kept talking. I was nervous about meeting that stare in silence. Also, part of me was afraid that if I pondered my own words too hard, I’d discover they were just as much about my own father and me as Adrian and his. “It should have been enough for you to tell him who you are—to show him who you are—but he wouldn’t listen. I don’t like the idea of using others to do things we can do ourselves, but this seemed like the only option.” “Well,” Adrian said at last. “I guess it worked.

He almost smiled. “There you go again. Why? Why do you keep helping me?” There were a million answers on my lips, everything from It’s the right thing to do to I don’t know. Instead, I said, “Because I want to.” This time, I got a true smile from him, but there was something dark and introspective about it. He shifted closer to me again. “Because you feel bad for this crazy guy?” “You aren’t going to go crazy,” I said firmly. “You’re stronger than you think. The next time you feel that way, find something to focus on, to remind you of who you are.” “Like what? Got some magic object in mind?” “Doesn’t have to be magic,” I said. I racked my brain. “Here.” I unfastened the golden cross necklace. “This has always been good for me. Maybe it’ll help you.” I set it in his hand, but he caught hold of mine before I could pull back. “What is it?” he asked. He looked more closely. “Wait… I’ve seen this. You wear this all the time.” “I bought it a long time ago, in Germany.”

He had been staring at the cross, but now he lifted his gaze to meet mine. Some emotion I couldn’t quite read played over his features. It was almost like he’d just discovered something, something troubling to him. He took a deep breath and, his hand still holding mine, pulled me toward him. His green eyes were dark in the candlelight but somehow just as enthralling. His fingers tightened on mine, and I felt warmth spread throughout me. “Sage—”

“Do you know why I don’t like him? Brayden?” I was so astonished he’d gotten the name right that I couldn’t voice any answers, though several came to mind. “Because of what he said.” “What part?” Seeing as Brayden had said many things, in great detail, it wasn’t entirely clear which Adrian was referring to. “‘Historically inaccurate.”’ Adrian gestured at me with his other hand, the one not on my shoulder. “Who the hell looks at you and says ‘historically inaccurate’?” “Well,” I said. “Technically it is.” “He shouldn’t have said that.” I shifted, knowing I should move away… but I didn’t. “Look, it’s just his way.” “He shouldn’t have said that,” repeated Adrian, eerily serious. He leaned his face toward mine. “I don’t care if he’s not the emotional type or the complimentary type or what. No one can look at you in this dress, in all that fire and gold, and start talking about anachronisms. If I were him, I would have said, ‘You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth.’” My breath caught, both at the words and the way he said them. I felt strange inside. I didn’t know what to think, except that I needed to get out of there, away from Adrian, away from what I didn’t understand. I broke from him and was surprised to find myself shaking. “You’re still drunk,” I said, putting my hand on the door knob. He tilted his head to the side, still watching me in that same, disconcerting way. “Some things are true, drunk or sober. You should know that. You deal i...

She scrutinized me for a few seconds, and weirdly, her distraught expression softened. She smiled. “You look really pretty today, Sydney. The way the light hits you… it’s kind of amazing.”

“Not if he really cares about you,” said Eddie vehemently. “If he really cares, he’ll understand and respect your wishes—and be happy at just any chance of spending time with you.”

While he was giving some last-minute instructions to Eddie, I pulled Sonya aside for a quiet word. “I… I’ve been thinking about something,” I told her. She studied me carefully, probably reading my aura and other body language. “What is it?” she asked. “If you want… if you really want it, you can have some of my blood.”

She smiled. “I know. And we need all the help we can get. After being one of them…” Her smile faded. “Well, I believe more than ever that their evil needs to be stopped. You might be the key.” For one second, her words inspired me—that I might somehow play a greater role in the fight against evil and possibly even stop it. Immediately, that thought was replaced by my old panic. No. No. I wasn’t special. I didn’t want to be. I would make a good faith effort to help, but surely nothing would come of it.

“You don’t have a license,” I reminded her. Although, my mother had taught me to drive before I had a license—both automatic and manual transmission. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised the stick was a lost art, as savage as such a lack seemed to me. That paled, of course, in comparison to the other obvious problem. “Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can’t drive a stick? There are dozens of cars—new cars—that have automatic transmission. It’d be a million times easier.” Adrian shrugged. “I like the color. It matches my living room.” Eddie snorted. “But you can’t drive it,” I pointed out. “I figure it can’t be that hard.” Adrian sounded remarkably unconcerned about what I found blasphemous. “I’ll just practice taking it around the block a few times and figure it out.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “What? Are you out of your mind? You’ll ruin it if you don’t know what you’re doing!” “What else am I supposed to do?” he asked. “Are you going to teach me?” I turned back to the beautiful Mustang. “Yes,” I said adamantly. “If that’s what it takes to save it from you.”

Adrian didn’t seem annoyed by my neglect. If anything, he looked amused and simply listened to my explanations with a small, quiet smile on his face.

“Well, thanks for gallantly coming to my defense again,” I teased. “Maybe you’d be more into Wolfe’s training if you got to protect someone else instead of yourself?” The earlier smile returned. “I just don’t like seeing people bullied, that’s all.”

“No, he really did,” she assured me. A dopey smile crossed her features. “He loves that you love the car more than he does and thinks it’s awesome you’re getting so good in your defense class. Not that that’s a surprise. You’re always so good at everything, and you don’t even realize it. You don’t even realize half the things you do—like how you watch out for others and never even think about yourself.”

I felt a tightening in my chest. So proud. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had said they were proud of me. Well, my mother did a lot, but no one tied to my work among the Alchemists did. For most of my life, I’d hoped my father would say he was proud. I’d finally given up on expecting that. Stanton was hardly a parental figure, but her words triggered happiness in me I hadn’t known was waiting to come out.

Adrian stopped in front of another. It was as yellow as his car and showed another mix of styles, like a southwest version of a medieval castle, complete with turrets. “Nice juxtaposition,” he remarked. I turned, knowing my eyes were wide as I stared at him. “Did you just use juxtaposition in a sentence?”

Glancing over, I was astonished to see Adrian watching me, a look of contentment on his face. His eyes seemed to study my every feature. Seeing me notice him, he immediately looked away. His usual smirky expression replaced the dreamy one.

His expression was astonishingly nonchalant for someone who looked like he would pass out. “It was worth it. You looked… happy.” “That’s crazy,” I said. “Not the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” He smiled as he looked up at me. His eyes grew slightly unfocused, as though they were seeing more than just me. “What’s a little crazy here and there? I’m supposed to be doing experiments… why not see which is brighter: your aura or the sun?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adrian told me. “If he

didn’t notice how awesome you were in the red dress, he probably won’t notice anything now.” He hesitated. “Not that there’s even anything to notice. You’re as cute as usual.” I was about to snap at him for teasing me, but when I looked over, his face was deadly earnest. Whatever retort I might have managed died on my lips, and I quickly got up to check our status, in order to hide how flustered I felt.

It hadn’t seemed like that much of a loss of control, but what did I know? And I wondered if maybe a small loss of control wasn’t such a bad thing. Wasn’t that kind of the basis of passion? I didn’t know that either. The only thing I knew for sure was that this kiss had been a lot like the last one. Nice, but it didn’t blow me away. My heart sank. There was something wrong with me. Everyone was always going on about how socially inept I was. Did it extend to romance as well? Was I so cold that I’d spend my life never feeling anything?

His eyes widened. “Are you some kind of mutant human? Like a fire user? And I use mutant as a compliment, you know. I wouldn’t think less of you.”

He gave me no smile in return. “Okay. But I’m just going to be out there—having a tea party with her cats or whatever it is she has in mind. You need me? You yell. You want to leave? We go. I’ll get you out of here, no matter what.” Something clenched in my chest, and for a moment, the whole world narrowed down to the green of his eyes. “Thank you.”

“And yet here you are, with the ability to find Sonya.” Adrian hesitated and then, reaching some decision, stepped toward me and rested his hands on my shoulders. “Jackie told me that you’re one of the most naturally gifted people she’s ever encountered for this kind of stuff. She said that with a little practice, a spell like this’ll be cake for you, and she’s certain you can pull it off now. And I believe her. Not because I have proof you’re magically talented but because I’ve seen how you approach everything else. You won’t fail at this. You don’t fail at anything.”

earlier. “That’s the problem. I don’t fail, but I’m afraid I will now. I don’t know what it’s like. And it terrifies me.” Especially because Sonya’s life depends on me.

Adrian reached out and traced the lily on my cheek. “You won’t have to find out what it’s like tonight because you aren’t going to fail. You can do this. And I’ll be here with you as long as it takes, okay?”

The sun in my vision was an exact match for Trey’s tattoo.

I wanted some at dinner last night, and Brayden talked me out of it—which is probably why I’m even more obsessed with it. Ever had that happen? Once you can’t have something, you want it that much more.” “Yes,” he said bitterly. “It happens all the time.”

“Sage,” he said. “For real. Be careful. Don’t be a hero—we’ve got plenty of them back there. And… no matter what happens, I want you to know that I never doubted what you’re going to do. It’s smart, and it’s brave.” “You sound like it’s already happened and failed,” I said. “No, no. I just… well, I want you to know that I trust you.”

“Please be careful,” he repeated. “Come back safe.” “I will.” On impulse I took off my cross necklace and pressed it into his hand. “This time, keep it for real. Hold onto it until I return. If you get too worried, look at it and know that I’ll have to come back for it. It goes really well with khakis and neutral colors.”

Somehow, his betrayal hurt worse than all the others. I had come to trust him implicitly. How could he do this to me? “No one believed I’d be able to talk the Warriors down, so everyone just made contingency plans without me.” Never mind that I hadn’t been able to talk them down. “Someone should have told me. You should have told me.” There was legitimate pain and regret in his voice. “I’m telling you, I wanted to. But I was trapped. You of all people should know what it’s like being caught between groups, Sage. Besides, don’t you remember what I said just before you got in the car with Trey?” I did, actually. Almost word for word. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I never doubted what you’re going to do. It’s smart, and it’s brave. I slouched further into my seat and felt like I was on the verge of tears. Adrian was right. I did know what it was like to have your loyalty stretched between different groups. I understood the position he’d been in. It was just, some selfish part of me wished that I’d been the one his loyalty had been strongest to. He tried, an inner voice said. He tried to tell you.

I felt a little guilt that I had a greater emotional reaction to seeing the coffee than him.

He fixed me with a disconcertingly hard look. “Maybe everyone else thinks your aversion to food is cute—but not me. I’ve watched you watch Jill. Here’s some tough love: you will never, ever have her body. Ever. It’s impossible. She’s Moroi. You’re human. That’s biology. You have a great one, one that most humans would kill for—and you’d look even better if you put on a little weight. Five pounds would be a good start. Hide the ribs. Get a bigger bra size.” “Adrian!” I was aghast. “You… are you out of your mind? You have no right to tell me that! None at all.” He scoffed. “I have every right, Sage. I’m your friend, and no one else is going to do it. Besides, I’m the king of unhealthy habits. Do you think I don’t know one when I see it? I don’t know where this came from—your family, too many Moroi, or just your own OCD nature—but I’m telling you, you don’t have to do it.” “So this is some kind of intervention.” “This is the truth,” he said simply. “From someone who cares and wants your body to be as healthy and amazing as your mind.” “I’m not listening to this,” I said, turning away. A mix of emotions churned in me. Anger. Outrage. And weirdly, a little relief. “I’m going. I never should have come by.” His hand on my shoulder stopped me. “Wait… listen to me.” Reluctantly, I turned. His expression was still stern, but his voice had softened. “I’m not trying to be mean. You’re the last person I want to hurt… but I don’t want you hurting yourself either. You can ignore everythi...

A million thoughts seemed to cross his mind, none of which he wanted to share. At last, he shook his head in exasperation. “Isn’t it obvious, Sage? No, of course it isn’t. I did it so I’d have a reason to be around you—one I knew you couldn’t refuse.” I was more confused than ever. “But… why? Why would you want to do that?” “Why?” he asked. “Because it was the closest I could get to doing this.” He reached out and pulled me to him, one hand on my waist and the other behind my neck. He tipped my head up and lowered his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. I was nothing. I was everything. Chills ran over my skin, and fire burned inside me. His body pressed closer to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Mine responded hungrily, and I tightened my hold on him. His fingers slid down the back of my neck, tracing its shape, and every place they touched was electric. But perhaps the best part of all was that I, Sydney Katherine Sage, guilty of constantly analyzing the world around me, well, I stopped thinking. And it was glorious.

“No, you will listen. For once, you’re going to hear something that doesn’t fit into your neat, compartmentalized world of order and logic and reason. Because this isn’t reasonable. If you’re terrified, believe me—this scares the hell out of me, too. You asked about Rose? I tried to be a better person for her—but it was to impress her, to get her to want me. But when I’m around you, I want to be better because… well, because it feels right. Because I want to. You make me want to become something greater than myself. I want to excel. You inspire me in every act, every word, every glance. I look at you, and you’re like… like light made into flesh. I said it on Halloween and meant every word: you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth. And you don’t even know it. You have no clue how beautiful you are or how brightly you shine.” I knew I needed to break away, to jerk my hands from his. But I couldn’t. Not yet. “Adrian—” “And I know, Sage,” he continued, his eyes filled with fire. “I know how you guys feel about us. I’m not stupid, and believe me, I’ve tried to get you out of my head. But there isn’t enough liquor or art or any other distraction in the world to do it. I had to stop going to Wolfe’s because it was too hard being that close to you, even if it was all just pretend fighting. I couldn’t stand the touching. It was agonizing because it meant something to me—and I knew it meant nothing to you. I kept telling myself to stay away altogether,...

choose what we want.” “Don’t try to use my own words against me,” I warned. “Why?” he asked, a slight smile on his lips. “They were damned good ones. You’re not a victim. You’re not a captive to that lily. You can be what you want. You can choose what you want.” “You’re right.” I slipped away, finding no resistance from him at all. “And I don’t choose you. That’s what you’re missing in all of this.” Adrian stilled. His smile dropped. “I don’t believe you.” I scoffed. “Let me guess. Because I kissed you back?” That kiss had made me feel more alive than I had in weeks, and I had a feeling he knew that. He shook his head. “No. Because there’s no one else out there who understands you like I do.” I waited for more. “That’s it? You’re not going to elaborate on what that means?” Those green eyes held me. “I don’t think I need to.”

Adrian stood there leaning against the doorframe, watching me with his heart in his eyes. In my chest, my own heart was breaking. On my cheek, the lily reminded me who I was.