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I’m supposed to be the reliable child in the family, the person most likely to succeed and turn our lives around.
I would be the good daughter, the strong one, the one who kept everyone afloat.
“And he’s always going on about how intimidatingly smart you are. How hard he has to work to keep up with you.”
pharmacist. The one who wanted to be an artist now has their sights set on med school. Hobbies are traded for more stable, lucrative, practical careers.
“I really can’t stand it when people are angry at me. Like, I know it might be simple for others, but I can’t focus on anything else. I can’t just forget about it and go on with my own life. It’s like there’s something hard wedged inside my chest. I’ll always feel guilty. I’ll always want to make amends.”
“Because,” he says quietly, a curious expression on his face. I’ve never seen him so serious. So sincere. “You’re the only person worth paying attention to.”
Ahhhhhhh
Her smile is sad. “I never wanted you to have to grow up this fast.”
If you knew the effect you had on me, how often I think about you, the things I would do for you . . . I wouldn’t stand a chance against you ever again. You would have taken everything from me,” he goes on in a rush, like the words are burning him from within, like he has to get it out before the pain becomes overwhelming. “Not just a debating championship or some points for a test or a fancy award or a spot in a competition—but my whole heart. My pride. God, my sanity. It would be all over. You would annihilate me.”
JULIUSSSS
Because I’m willing to lose everything,” he says, his eyes blacker than the surrounding darkness, than the sky outside, “so long as I don’t lose you.”
😩
I want him to know he looks more beautiful than ever in the light, up close. I want to kiss him again, until all his doubts dissipate to nothing. I want to take away everything that’s ever hurt him.
🥹🥹
For ten years I thought I was preparing to destroy you, when really I was preparing to love you. All of which is to say I really hope this finds you. And I hope you find me too.
🥰🥰🥰
You were right, Sadie Wen. I am completely, helplessly obsessed with you. Love, Julius
😫😫😫
