A Fragile Enchantment

by Allison Saft

It was such a small thing to try to give them the comfort they’d never had as children. It was such a small thing to be good.

But I suppose when you’re dealing with a monster like that every day, you can’t help what you become to survive it.”

She infinitely preferred the satisfaction of listening to others, of doing what she could to lighten others’ burdens. Little held more magic in this world than the way people unraveled for her like a ball of yarn when given enough time and patience.

“I am so afraid, Kit. I am afraid that I will fail, despite all the pains I have taken. I am afraid I will let everyone down. And deep down, I am afraid that I am horribly, irredeemably selfish because I am so afraid that I will die without having let myself live at all.”

You don’t need to work yourself to the bone. You don’t need to do things for people before you ever think to do a thing for yourself. Whatever you think you have to prove or earn, it’s all in your head. Your existence alone is enough. And if you believe you’ve made no difference at all to anyone, you’re even more clueless than I thought.”

“Is this a dream?” “I don’t know,” he said huskily, his eyes aglow. “Let me kiss you until dawn, and I suppose we’ll find out.”

But I also understand more than most that family is what you make it—and so is home. You have to choose your own happiness, whatever that looks like. You can’t live your life for other people.”

I knew then I had a choice. I was either going to die there, or I was going to live out of spite.”

“Stop criticizing yourself and undercutting your own achievements. Stop cutting off pieces of yourself, when you’re already more than good enough.”

“Nothing is guaranteed, Niamh. We all die. You and I are dying right now, but we’re also alive. Love is what makes life worth living. Love is what makes us act when we most need to. That’s what your legacy is. It’s how you love the people around you, not how much you’ve sacrificed for them.”

“I can’t avoid pain. I’m done trying.”

I feel like I’ve lived a thousand years in the time I’ve known you. I feel like I’m awake for the very first time. Even if you were gone tomorrow, even if you took my heart with you when you went, I wouldn’t regret a single moment I’ve spent with you. How could I? You’ve changed me. I will carry you with me forever.”