Of the eighty women she interviewed who were lesbian, bisexual, or didn’t label their sexual orientation, seventy said they’d had a platonic friendship as emotionally intense as a romantic relationship. These “passionate friendships,” as Lisa called them, were far more likely than conventional friendships to include thoughts and behaviors associated with romantic relationships, including inseparability, cuddling, hand-holding, and preoccupation. For some of the women, the friendships were laced with sexual desire. But for a lot of them—as in Lisa’s case—the friendship dwelled in what Lisa
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