the kind of loss I was experiencing—one that had no definitive end—is, as a rule, difficult to manage. Pauline Boss, professor emerita at the University of Minnesota, coined a term for this: “ambiguous loss.” Ambiguity, rather than alleviating the sense of loss, can make the coping process more complicated. Without a well-defined conclusion like death or divorce, loved ones may not realize they should step in to help. The loss may not even be clear to the person who’s experienced it; a mourner needs to know there’s something to grieve before she can start the grieving process. Ambiguous loss
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