Experiencing a friendship like Andrew and Toly’s or witnessing one can sharpen our vision, allowing us to notice the trellis—as Art and Nick put it—that had been directing our path all along. An encounter with just one of these friendships can dislodge fixed ideas about who (and how many people) we can spend the rest of our lives with. The trellis may be ideally suited to some of us, its use by so many others a source of meaning and its preset structure reassuring. But for those who have doubts or are curious, these friendships can give us the nerve to detach from the trellis and grow toward
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