American men still, by and large, aren’t supposed to get too cozy with other men if they want to fit in. By adolescence, boys learn that their repertoire for physical affection with each other is limited to back slaps and side hugs. They’re trained to act competitively within their male friendships, and they’re expected to bond over activities, not shared intimacies. Working on this book, I saw how men’s friendships get scrutinized differently from women’s.
