The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center

by Rhaina Cohen

In the late 2000s, Colorado state senator Pat Steadman wanted to design a legal structure that was more customizable than marriage and which extended rights to any two adults, regardless of the kind of relationship they had. Steadman said, “We didn’t want the designated beneficiary law to make the same discriminatory choices as the marriage code.” Beginning in 2009, Coloradans have been able to register for a designated beneficiary agreement by filling out a two-page form that lists rights in sixteen categories, mostly related to health and finances. Unlike marriage, the designated beneficiary agreement uses an à la carte model; the two people can choose to grant or withhold each of the rights, and rights don’t have to be assigned reciprocally. If a father and son were to register, the father could make his son his health care proxy, but the son doesn’t have to designate the father. It’s simple and inexpensive, covering many of the core rights that are part of a costly estate-planning process.