The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center

by Rhaina Cohen

he’s not against monogamy. What he’s against is adherence to defaults—he spitballed a term: “defaultamy.” Hearing Adam say this, I realized this is why I’ve felt such a strong urge for people to learn about platonic partnerships: they are a case study in resisting defaults.

Experiencing a friendship like Andrew and Toly’s or witnessing one can sharpen our vision, allowing us to notice the trellis—as Art and Nick put it—that had been directing our path all along. An encounter with just one of these friendships can dislodge fixed ideas about who (and how many people) we can spend the rest of our lives with.