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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jay Kristoff
Read between
April 19 - May 1, 2024
The Last Silversaint said nothing, staring at the chymical globe between them, and back across far-flung years.
Wit is wasted on the witless, mademoiselle. Now, we’ve places to be, and precisely none of them are here. So get your boots on your feet before mine find your arse.’
Luck. Or the devil loves his own.’
The road is black ahead,’ I told her. ‘And it’s hard to keep walking when you can’t see the ground beneath your feet. But that’s what courage is. The will to keep walking in the darkness. To believe the end is just beyond your outstretched hand, rather than a million miles away. And while some might falter, some might fail, some might curl up like babes rather than walk on through that lonely night, you are not that girl.’ “I squeezed her hand and searched her eyes. “‘You are not that girl.’
Doesn’t matter.’ I took a swig of vodka, tucked my flask inside my greatcoat. ‘Measure yourself not by where others are, but where you used to be.’ “I raised my sword, eyes on hers. “‘Once more with feeling.’
This world won’t give you what you want just because you asked nicely, girl. Not respect. Not love. Not peace. You get what you earn. You eat what you kill.’
Gabriel, the last horse I named hurled herself off a cliff a few days later.’ “‘And your theory is that happened because you gave her a name?’ “‘I’m just saying I ended up sleeping inside her,’ the girl said, still looking queasy about it. ‘So you’ll pardon me if I’m not in a hurry to name another.’ “I glanced at Dior’s beast, lips pursed. ‘What about Blanket?’ “‘Oh, God, STOP IT!’ she wailed, burying her face and kicking her heels.
You don’t like books?’ “She shrugged, shoveling in another mouthful. ‘Never saw much use for them.’ “‘Not much…’ I sputtered, outraged on behalf of every scribe, librarian, and bookshop owner in the imperium. ‘They’ve a thousand fucking uses, girl!’
Aright.’ I started counting off on my fingers. ‘You can … light them on fire. Throw them at people. Light them on fire, then throw them at people, particularly if those people are the sort of bucktoothed shitwits who don’t like books.’
‘A life without books is a life not lived, Dior. There’s a magik like no other to be found in them. To open a book is to open a door—to another place, another time, another mind. And usually, mademoiselle, it’s a mind far sharper than your own.’
“Who the fuck told you I was a hero?
“‘I heard ye were dead, de León.’ “‘Heaven was full. And the devil was afraid to open the door.’
Dropping to our knees, we let momentum keep us skidding along the ice beneath Kane’s blow, the pair of us rising up now beneath it. Lachlan’s blade sheared through the vampire’s belly, long spools of desiccated guts spraying through the air, and as the angels on my arms carved blurs of light on the gloom, Ash sheared his arm off above the elbow.
“It matters not what you hold faith in. But you must hold faith in something.
Mesdames before messieurs.’ “The woman raised one eyebrow. ‘Shove yer chivalry up yer arse, man.’ “‘My chivalry fell on its own sword a long time ago.
Damn right I’m right,’ I muttered. “‘Don’t let it go to yer head, man. Every dog has his day.’ “‘Dogs eat cats last time I checked, mademoiselle.’ “‘Mothermoons,’ she scoffed. ‘I wouldn’t let ye eat me if ye paid me for it.’ “‘Fortunate, then, that I wasn’t offering to.’
There’s a time and place for tears, Flower. An’ there’s a solace to be found in sadness. It’s easier fallin’ downhill than climbin’ up. It hurts to punch on with broken hands. But it’s when darkness falls around us that we find the fire within. An’ I see it in ye, sure and true.’ Phoebe searched Dior’s eyes, speaking fierce. ‘Yer the fire that will burn away this dark, Flower. And yer a girl. So stick that only shite where the sun don’t shine.’ “I glanced upward. ‘The sun doesn’t shine anywhere anymore, Kitcat.’ “‘Then stick it anywhere ye like, smartarse.’
“‘I give nae a single whisker off my sweet cunny where that goes.’
We,’ I said, gesturing back and forth between us, ‘should talk.’ “She sighed. ‘And what would you have ussss talk about?’ “‘Oh, shit, I don’t know, the price of a footjob in San Maximille? What do you fucking think? How about you start with what I saw on the river today?
“Better to be a bastard than a fool.” Jean-François smiled. “You are not a bastard, de León. You are a cunt.” “Well. You are what you eat, vampire.” “Charming.” “My wife certainly thought so.”
“It’s a hell of a thing,” the silversaint murmured. “Being a father. You want to shield your children from the worst of the world, even though you know that’ll leave them unprepared for what they’ll find. But the sooner you let them see the horror of it all…”
After so much risked, after so much promised … “‘He’s fucking dead, isn’t he?’”
‘There are always fucks to give for fashion.’
“Hard truths.” The vampire scoffed. “I was not aware there was any other kind?”
“How do I do what?” Jean-François waved his quill. “That thing you do with your eyebrows.” “The fuck are you talking about?” “You’re doing it again,” the historian said. “It’s not quite a frown … more like a frown had a drunken ménage à trois with a glower and a pout. It’s very good, you must have practiced it at length in the mirror.” “Benefits of having a reflection, you soulless prick.”
‘Santé, sister. Your blood’s worth smoking.’
Gabriel drank down the last of his goblet, staring now at the monster opposite. All the light in the room seemed to coalesce in the dark pools of its eyes, shining like stars. His skin prickled as he thought back on those long, slow nights of blood and fire and sin. Smooth curves beneath his roaming hands. Thumping pulse beneath his flickering tongue. He sat forward, elbows to knees. Beckoning Jean-François with one finger. The vampire stared a long and breathless moment, silence thick in the air, finally leaning close. Gabriel smoothed back a golden curl from the monster’s ear as he
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“‘Fair is for dead men and losers, Dior.’
we’re in a swamp of shit here, girl, and you’ve not got the boots for it.’
“And love is not always simple. But you did love her. You knew what it might cost. Yet you decided to risk bruising the girl’s heart, rather than see it torn from her chest. You are not a bad man, Gabriel de León. Sometimes you simply do bad things.”
“‘Good luck, brother.’ “‘Go to hell, sister.’ “‘I have been there, Gabriel. They found my company just as disagreeable as you.’
Gabriel nodded, rueful. “Celene was a behemothic cunt.”
“Well, that’s the problem, coldblood.” The silversaint stroked his smooth chin. “I’ve no fucking idea. I was rather preoccupied, gravity being what it is.”
“You can’t believe a word she says,” Gabriel spat. “That bitch is made of lies.” “Whereas I am certain every note you have sung to me thus far is God’s own truth.” Jean-François smiled, almost affectionate. “Every coin has two faces, mon ami. Every tale, two tellings. We shall return to yours presently, no fear. But until then…”
“And you believe him?” The monster shook her head, voice trembling with cold rage. “My brother is a drunkard. A braggart. But above all, a liar.”
‘Castles are made of stone, Little Mountain. And so are you.’”
“‘I was mistaken when I spoke at Aveléne, Mlle Lachance. Capitaine Aaron is not dead.’ “Dior’s face fell as the lass shook her head. “‘He is Dead.’”
“‘Ye think I dinnae ken that? I swore on my heartsblood to keep that girl safe!’ The duskdancer stormed toward me, tossing her hair from her face. ‘But in case ye weren’t payin’ attention, that leech put her boot so far up my cunny I can still taste the leather, so excuse me if I thought to bring help when I next step to!’
“Your masochistic streak when it comes to women is really quite telling, de León.”
“The folk I held dearest were always the ones I quarreled with hardest. Folk who weren’t afraid to slap me out of my bullshit, or tell me I was being an arse. There’s no friend under heaven like an honest one.”
“That’s the way to wisdom, vampire. The wise man learns more from his enemies than the fool from his friends, but even the fool can learn if his friends are willing to call him one. Surround yourself with folk who confront you. If you’re not being challenged, you’re not learning anything. If you’re the smartest man in the room, you’re in the wrong fucking room.
“‘That wasn’t too disastrous, all things considered,’ I muttered. “‘Nae the most fun I’ve had with knots,’ she shrugged, rubbing her wrists. ‘Nor the least. But we’d best get off the streets. Where are these friends of yers?’ “I nodded down the alley. ‘Follow me, vile temptress.’ “‘Pushin’ yer luck now, Silverboy.’
“‘To those who fought,’ she declared. ‘And those who fell.’ “‘And those who lived through living hell,’ I replied.
“Phoebe scoffed, shaking her head. ‘The goddesses ruined a perfectly good arsehole when they put teeth in yer mouth, didn’t they?’
“‘I feel it only fair to warn you,’ I said as we reached the far bank. ‘I don’t have the best luck with horses lately. Or rather, they’ve not had best luck around me.’
“I was sat on the snow as we stopped to camp the third night, my whole body numb with cold. The men lit a fire, Sœur Valya glowering at me across it—I swear that woman touched herself at night thinking about seeing me hanged.
“‘Never meet your heroes, I suppose.’
“Phoebe shook her head. ‘I said it to the Flower, I’ll say it again: There’s a solace to be found in sadness. And I understand why ye’d think ye deserve that dark. Easier to find refuge in drink, in rage, to say hell with it all and push everyone away. Because ye think that cold is easier to live with than the pain that could come if ye let the warmth back in, only to be burned again. But that’s the fire that lets us know we’re alive, Gabriel.’ “I shook my head, two pale shadows now rising at my back. “‘You can’t fix a broken blade, Phoebe.’ “‘But don’t ye see? We don’t get broken. We’re made
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“Not always.” Gabriel sipped his wine. “But when someone insists on measuring cocks and yours is the biggest, sometimes it’s best to just whip it out and be done.
“‘We only die if we are forgotten, Gabriel de León. Burn bright. Burn brief. But burn.’
