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She wasn’t sure if she wanted an answer.
If it weren’t for her, she was certain he would still be alive.
I come back here and start asking questions, and suddenly my husband is dead,”
“I’ve always believed you,” he told her.
“There is one thing you should know.”
Being alive just meant that your body could put itself back together faster than it tore itself apart.
If they trusted each other, they shouldn’t have to look.
She was anxious. She was paranoid. Her fears were not supposed to be real.
“Honestly? I have no idea. One of the things I’ve realized as I’ve
gotten older is that I really didn’t know the man at all,” Gabriel said, voice laced with old pain that she understood, bone-deep.
“Funny how easy it is to forgive everyone else,”
Grief was an ugly animal, and hers was a complicated grief. She needed time to tend it in solitude.
Every moment she spent on grief and confusion was a moment for the walls to close in around her.
“No, from what I can tell, you have never once managed to stand up for yourself,” Hadley said.
what the fuck
She thinks again of the bus. Of a road leading out of Arden Hills, headlights cutting through the darkness. She can picture herself on it; she can picture it vanishing in the night, in the distant gloom.
don’t think that every child
needs one father and one mother to come out right, but they do need love.
He was a good man. He was, Gabriel, even if his demons got the better of him more often than not.”
The lie didn’t need to be complicated, it just needed to be consistent.
