Every Breath After: Part One (Lost Boys, #3)

by Jessie Walker

To the kids we were, in all its messiness. Growing up was hard. Being an adult is even harder. But we’re still here. Still kickin’.

“Do I dare disturb the universe?” —T.S. ELIOT

The last thing I see before the door closes behind him is his red backpack and the name stitched across the pocket. And all I can think is… I found you.

He could never love me in the way I crave so desperately…not in this timeline. Not in this universe. Our stars are only ever meant to exist from opposite sides of the sun burning brightly forever between us.

Eyes creasing, he says, “What’s your dream then?” You. You’re my dream.

Because I might not be a hero like him, but he is and always has been my kryptonite.

“And then someday, there will be this guy, and he’s gonna come along and-and push all the right buttons. You’re gonna fight it. Be stubborn as always. But fuck, he’s gonna fall so hard. And you’re gonna fall so hard right back, because…because he won’t give up. He’ll never rest until you let him in.”

You should have ridiculous standards and expectations, and settle for nothing less than everything.”

In his arms, I’m a stand-in for someone else. In mine, he’s everything I’ve always wanted.

“She’s the love of my life.” Yeah, well, you’re mine, Mason. So fuck us both I guess.

“Just gotta…hold my breath and count to ten, right?” He wets his lips. “Every breath after that…it’ll be a little easier.”

I know today sucks. But this is your day too, always has been, and always will be. And for that, I still love today. Because it means you exist.

I can’t do this. I can’t survive this. Without her, I’ve been half a person. And now without him too, I’ll be lucky if there’s even a sliver of me left.

When we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind. —Unknown