Out on a Limb

by Hannah Bonam-Young

“You want a kept woman,” I tease. “I certainly want to keep you.”

Or the giant body pillow I found in my room after work yesterday with a note that said for the world’s best baby mama.

“You’d choose this?” I ask, feeling the start of tears sting my nose. I want to say, me? You’d choose me? “Yeah, I think I would. I know the timing isn’t exactly ideal, but if you lined up every other person in the world who I could’ve had a baby with, I’d choose you again. You’re going to be a fantastic mom, Win.” I’d choose you again. Every other person in the world.

It’s so much easier to communicate insecurities when you don’t need to communicate them at all. Isn’t that all we ever want? To be seen and heard? Validated, even when we’re not able to ask for it.

“I’d do it all over again to be at that party,” he says. “To meet you. To get Gus.”

“Ever since I met you, it’s like every part of me has healed a little bit. Do you know that? Do you know that you do that for people?”

I long to be loved by a man like Bo. I long to love him, the way he deserves. Our souls were tied a long time ago, I think. We’re just finally admitting it to each other.

“I’ve thought about hearing my name come out of those perfect lips every fucking night since I heard you from down the hall. Please, Win. Please. Say my name.”

“I like that,” he says, smiling. “What?” “My dream girl is in bed with me, calling me love.”

“You’ve seen me. Understood me like I’ve never been understood. And I see you now too. I see how truly lovely you are. More importantly, I believe it. With everything inside me, I believe you’re going to be gentle with my heart.”

“You are my soul’s purpose, Win. To know you, to love you, to build a family with you, to spend every day taking care of you, to watch you shine and get all the good things you deserve out of this life.”