You’re Gonna Die Alone (& Other Excellent News)

by Devrie Donalson

You might find grief pressed between these pages and realize that you still have people, places, and memories to put to rest. You

Intimidating is not an insult. It’s more of a badge of honor. Each time we refuse to react the way they want us to, we reduce the potency of the tactic.

Rarely is the burden of change demanded of men, unless it is in service to a larger narrative of patriarchy,

Good men can listen to us, hear what we have endured under the system they thrive in, and know that it is true. They can listen without being defensive or excusing themselves from the problem. They can be curious and feel a righteous calling to use their power to change things.

The only way for good men to absolve themselves of the hurt they feel while they reckon with their legacy is for men to hold other men accountable. In droves. In masses. In giant, mutinous ways. It is for men to forsake entirely their unjustly held power and betray the cult of Patriarchy.

Our propensity to enforce rigid standards for other women only benefits men. We uphold a social system that measures a woman’s worth by measuring her efforts toward editing her natural self to fit into the ever-shifting outline of perfection

Men are allowed to hurt women because they built a world that lets them do so without consistent or serious consequences.

It’s so hard to accept, but our loved ones might be ready to change well before we’re ready to let them go. And so we stand in the way, holding out our hurt feelings and disbelief, beckoning each other to take them on as a burden to bear. We ask, “How could they up and leave? What does that say about them? What does that say about me?”

The sign of a good lover is how much they love seeing you at home in yourself.

Compassion and curiosity will take you very far.