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It has always been better to remain quiet than risk speaking words no one believes.
I can’t breathe, ever. Why can’t anyone see that? Can they not see me turning purple? The hands of my mind choking me?
“Life left you empty so that you’d have room to fill it. We are only hollow if we allow ourselves to remain that way.”
I’d always thought it was beautiful, his grief. A living reminder of a love lost too soon.
“They say I’m dead on the inside.” “They call me cursed. I wonder which is worse?”
“I had to learn how not to live for the trauma and loss. I’m living in spite of it. Don’t let him win.”
I’ve always believed love is like water, the way it flows between bodies and souls. You can’t stop the flow of it because one pathway is closed off. It just finds another exit.
“You work with Silas?” Little needles prick the back of my neck at how she says my name, reminding me how she said it the other night. A feeling I believed long gone pools in my gut. Desire. Desire to hear her say my name again. Gasp it. Moan it. Scream it.
“My father can put his money and dick in whatever trash he wants,” Alistair grunts. “I want insurance.” “Call fucking State Farm, Caldwell.”
“How about you give me your fucking IP address and I don’t splatter your fucking brains on the wall?”
“Silas, when we figure out where we’re going, can we have a garden?” “Sure.” “I wanna grow carnations.” “Carnations?” “And peonies!” “Okay.” “Say you swear.”
Once again crying for silas
Did I want to shoot Thatch in the foot for how he talked to her? I had the urge, yes. Did I also enjoy watching her chew him up and spit him out all on her own? Absolutely.
“I’m seconds away from kissing your fucking mouth because you look this beautiful and still feel the need to ask me if I’m sure about marrying you.”
“Silas, I promise to be your peace when the world provides only war. To be your secret keeper and safe haven. Today, I vow to be the one person who accepts you for who you are and who you will become.” She glances up at me, holding my gaze as she speaks the last line. “Till death do us part.”
“On this day, I vow to make your rage my own, to weather the storm of your revenge and keep you forever safe. I promise to stand by you. No matter what comes, you will never be alone. Till death do us part.”
Falling is fun until you hit the ground. When one of you is left with brittle bones and the other is dead.
Coraline Whittaker likes to behave. And there is nothing I love more than turning a headstrong woman into a needy whore.
“He gets close again?” He pauses, making eye contact with me. “I put a bullet in him with the gun I used to fuck your cunt with.”
“But yes, that easy. You will always be safe with me, even from me.”
As the night falls and my sister drifts to sleep. I sit alone in the apartment, listening to the ringing of a phone number I never wanted to call. “There you are, Circe. I’ve been waiting for you.”
SHE called HIM... Fuck me sideways please make it stop
This is the good thing about knowing Coraline Whittaker. I’ve known she was a flight risk since the moment I met her and I knew that when I told her about Stephen and our plan, I’d need insurance on her wings. So, while the nipple rings I’d gifted her had been innocent, they were also microchipped.
Wow i love this man and his brain
Coraline cries and I ache to be there to comfort her. Rook will.
FUCK OFF. YOU WILL. I will riot if this isn't happily ever after.
"Silas. Don't, please.” Rook begs, but there is no one to beg. God’s not here. For the shadow and valley are mine. I fear no evil. “Promise m-m..." My voice no longer works. It's left me for good this time. “I promise, Si. I swear on the Styx, I’ve got her.”
*sigh* forever crying for Silas.
Nothing hurts. There is a numbness that has encompassed me like a jacket meant to protect me from pain. Bright lights blind me as I blink, eyes trying to adjust.
Hospital. Hospital please. Not dead. Not after everything Silas has gone through.
“Can you carry me one last time?” I wanted to go back, but this? This was the goodbye I never got to say to the person who showed me kindness above all else. This was closure with a person who showed me how to love so that I had it down by the time I met Coraline. Who taught me so much about myself before I even knew who I was. This was a goodbye to my guilt, for not being there.
MAKE IT STOP
But sleep is evasive because guilt is awake and gnawing at my fragile bones.
“1852, the Evergreen Game. Adolf Anderssen sacrificed a queen for checkmate.” I lift my head toward the hospital bed. “Why are you crying like I’m dead, baby?”
Im sobbing please OH MY FUCKING GOD
“What’s your favorite color, Silas?” Instead of answering, he lifts his hand, removing the wedding band on his finger and tilting it into the light so I can see the engraved marking along the inside. “dd4a3d?” “It’s a hex code.” Silas slides the ring back on, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair behind my ear. “For the orangish-red color named Coraline. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. All of it.”
FUCK ME OH MY FUCKING GOD
He was the person life left me empty for. To give it room for him to fill.
“You here with me, Hex?” I murmur against her angry skin. I take my time, massaging her fingers and palms. She knows what I’m asking. Knows I want to make sure she didn’t slip back to a time before me. A time she wasn’t safe. Coraline blinks up at me, a soft smile pulling at the edges of her lips as she nods. “Always here with you.”
From the second I saw her, I chose Coraline. Today, tomorrow, and every day after. I will choose to love her, to give myself to her. Because it could be no one else but her. It's us, forever. Inevitable death and all.
