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“On this day, I vow to make your rage my own, to weather the storm of your revenge and keep you forever safe. I promise to stand by you. No matter what comes, you will never be alone. Till death do us part.”
I hand her mine, a simple gold band with an engraving along the inside that says #dd4a3d. My little secret, considering she doesn’t notice it as she slips it onto my finger.
“Nothing I can ever give you will resemble love, Silas.” “Then I’ll pretend.”
“We’ll live, we’ll remember him, and we’ll be happy because that’s what he wants for us. All he’s ever wanted. It won’t be easy, and there will be days you struggle more than others, but learning to love the memory of someone you’ve lost helps. It just takes time.”
“No, Hex,” he whispers, shaking his head. “You did what you had to do so you could stay alive. That never made you weak. It never meant you asked for it. It makes you a survivor.”
“You’re still living in survival mode. You just have to learn to turn it off, baby.”
I feign confusion, furrowing my brows together. “Did you forget who you married, Hex? Did you forget what I am, or did you ignore all the rumors and hope I was different?”
So, get the fuck out, or slide your ass on my desk and spread your legs.”
“Don’t worry, Hex. I’m not gonna fuck you tonight. But you’re going to wish I did.”
“You’re my wife, Coraline Hawthorne. If I want to cover myself in the blood of a thousand more men to protect you, I will,” I tell her. “They cannot hurt you without having to answer to me.”
“You’re in control of a monster, Hex. Whatever you need, it’s already yours.” The scary part isn’t that he views himself as a monster. It’s that I believe him.
I press my hand to his lower stomach, halting his motion, peering up at him through damp lashes. “I’m going to break your heart.” He stills, jaw twitching. “You’re going to let me into yours.” Too late, I think just before his words and body rob me of air.
“I’m not schizophrenic.”
“I had finished my session for the day and was waiting on my mom to pick me up when I heard a girl crying. I thought she might be in trouble, so I followed the sound. Followed it until I found my doctor abusing a little girl.” I flinch, turning my eyes away from Coraline for a second, remembering the flashes of what I saw. “I panicked, so I started screaming. I just wanted to help her, gain someone’s attention so they’d make him stop. But I only ended up learning just how far vile people in Ponderosa Springs will go to cover up their secrets.”
I died that day. Not when Rosemary was killed, but that very day, I died.
Then I met Rosie, and everything changed. “She was the girl you saw, wasn’t she?”
“My psychotic break after Sage came back was real. All the trauma of losing Rose, it just—” I exhale, leaning into Coraline’s hands. “It fucked me up, but the hospitalization was the best thing for me. If it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have found out the truth for myself.”
“When you’re ready,” she hums, a yawn stealing her voice, “you’ll tell them. I’ll go with you. We can do it together.”
“I know this is probably really weird, me showing up like this. We don’t know each other, but you don’t feel like a total stranger to me. I’m falling in love with someone who you once loved, and it feels like that connects us somehow. I mean, we gotta be sorta similar, right? We have the same type.”
But Rook has never been to blame. He’s always been a solace for me. A person who I could just exist around without being drained. He’s fuel for my soul. Always has been. Forever will be.
“Nothing about us has ever been fake, Coraline.”
“It doesn’t mean cursed, baby. It’s short for hexadecimal.” He mumbles, rubbing his nose against mine. “From the moment I saw you leaving that fucking hell house, there was this secret connection between us. I understood you, saw your pain, and wanted to take it away. Like I knew what you needed before you asked. I’m not calling you cursed, I’m saying you’re a special language only I can decode.”
My heart cracks. What’s left of it shatters. I love this man. I love him and that scares me. I love him and it’s the only reason I know I have to leave him.
“What’s your favorite color, Silas?” Instead of answering, he lifts his hand, removing the wedding band on his finger and tilting it into the light so I can see the engraved marking along the inside. “dd4a3d?” “It’s a hex code.”
“For the orangish-red
red color named Coraline. I want you. I’ve wanted you for a lo...
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"I'm your favorite color?" "You're my favorite everything, Hex." “I’m scared to lose you.” “I know you are, Hex. But don’t let that stop you from being with me.”
