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I pretend a lot. I pretend to be comfortable and confident and relaxed. And on nights like this, I feel the weight of all that pretending. I feel the cost of giving more than I ever get back from guys like Kevin.
When I try to participate in the fun, it comes out awkward and forced. So instead, I hide in my office and watch from a distance.
I try to infuse some lightness into my tone and rearrange my face into what I hope is a pleasant expression.
