Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood

by Lucy Jones

Western societies, the mother is mostly left to her own devices after birth, her own privacy and autonomy. While being told to stay inside for forty days does sound quite intense, our approach means we don’t honour or acknowledge what a woman has done, or have a sufficient cultural

US, Postpartum Support International offers online support groups, local groups and phone calls with perinatal mental health practitioners.

‘So at the time women are most likely to suffer from mental illness we isolate them inside, expect them to match unrealistic human ideals, judge their every move, demand they get their body back after the violence of birth, silence their lived experience, and expect them to survive on inadequate sleep?’ I had always repressed my anger. It felt strange and new to express it.

Mothering alone felt increasingly unsustainable. I would take my eyes off the baby and he’d topple over. The toddler would need soothing. The baby would be screaming for milk. I’d need the loo. The baby would need changing. The toddler would need a drink. The baby would need to be soothed to sleep. I’d need sleep. The toddler would need fresh air. I’d need to make lunch. The baby would need to be held. The toddler would need to be held and soothed. The baby would need to show me his new treasures. The toddler would want my full attention. Everyone would cry.

meet my basic needs when I was alone with them.

Then there’s the ‘third shift’, which builds on Arlie Hochschild’s metaphor, and has been used to refer to the work of maintaining harmony in the marriage, learning about child development and assuming the psychological burden of the family’s emotional wellbeing.

O

Allostasis is broader and more intricate. It means the ongoing and dynamic process of reacting to complex environments and predicting change in order, ultimately, to achieve stability.

Anna Malaika Tubbs shows in her book Three Mothers, about the mothers of James Baldwin, Martin Luther King

Iris Chen

The first step for any transformative movement is raising consciousness. We have to see the structures we’ve inherited in order to tear them down.