Woke Up Like This

by Amy Lea

My point is, I spend half the time pretending to know what I’m doing, and the other half ignoring all my problems and hoping they’ll disappear. Spoiler alert: they do not.

Over the years, I’ve learned that tucking these thoughts away is just easier. If I think about him for too long, it becomes overwhelming. Too heavy. Like a sharp ache that knocks the wind out of me.

Ninety percent of stress can be avoided with planning and forethought. That’s my mantra. I’ve never entered a situation without a plan. I used to lie awake at night, spinning with hypotheticals about how I could mitigate risk in my life.

It’s like someone’s wrapped me in a heated blanket when I didn’t know I was cold.

“That’s the thing about the best days of your life. You don’t know they’re the best until they’re already gone,”

For some reason, I always thought adults made decisions with purpose. That they knew what they were doing all the time. But maybe adults are just like teens, bumbling around aimlessly, unsure if they’ve gotten it right.

Let go of the past and stop waiting for the future.