Woke Up Like This

by Amy Lea

Over the years, making lists and schedules has become my version of meditation. It calms my nerves when things start to feel out of control.

“I much prefer obsessing over everything that could go horribly wrong. Besides, catching grammatical errors in PowerPoints is an underrated thrill.”

“Hate to break it to you, but adulthood is just a never-ending cycle of chores, obligations, googling how to fix stuff, and spending money on things you hate. Like sponges and dish detergent.”

“My point is, I spend half the time pretending to know what I’m doing, and the other half ignoring all my problems and hoping they’ll disappear. Spoiler alert: they do not.

I’m the tertiary character. The overachieving mom-friend who takes care of everyone in the background but does zero to advance the plot.