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October 3 - October 22, 2025
Mandla: If it’s like the bathrooms, you don’t explode when you touch the portal. All of your equipment is sucked through, but you aren’t allowed to pass, and everything you’re wearing passes through you to get into the hole. It’s like a portal trap. If it’s caught in the portal’s pull, it’s going through. But it’s a portal to the 15th floor, and we’re not allowed to go down there, so we get stopped, and everything behind us gets pulled through anyway, hence we explode. Rezan: I wasn’t asking for a science lesson, you turnip. It doesn’t matter how you explode. You touch it, and you’re dead.
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The seal slowly started to react, like it had been asleep. Before it could do anything further, several more slugs fell on it, screaming and whooping, their hatchets slamming up and down. “How are they even swinging those axes?” Britney asked, fascinated. “They don’t even have arms.” “I’ve learned not to think about that sort of thing too much, and it makes everything so much easier,” Elle said.
“I can’t do it,” Raul called from behind me. “I need a baby seal.” I turned at that. “What the fuck, Raul?” He waved his pincer. “No, not like that. The seals hang out near the eggs. It’s like an automatic reaction. We’ve been programmed to perform when we see baby seals.” It was no wonder the monk seals wanted these guys all dead.
“Carl, that was the second weirdest sex I ever had,” she grumbled. “You gotta warn a girl if you’re going to just pop in like that.” She looked me up and down. “We are going to have to do something about your hair before we announce that we’re dating now. I’ll break it to Louis, but you’ll have to put up with me straying sometimes. If I ever catch you cheating on me, there’ll be trouble.” “I did warn you,” I said, trying to catch my breath. I took another Heal potion. My head still spun. “And we are not dating. Nor was that sex.”
