Down the Drain

by Julia Fox

I’m forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from.

I nod. “I know. I’m just trying to get through the day. I can’t think that far ahead right now.” She pauses for a moment. “Write about it,” she says before waving me off. I resent the fact that I care what Ms. Williams thinks about me.

Did I seriously just wait sixteen hours to get slapped in the face in front of the dead pope? I didn’t even get to have a moment with him!

I’ve come to discover that girls are so much more colorful. The dull and sterile backdrop that had been my life is now this vibrant luminescent force field that guides me when I am lost, protects me when I’m in danger, and nurtures me when I need love. I even tell my fellow dommes about Veronica, and they vow to help me find her and beat her ass all the way back to Italy.

I don’t want men to like me anymore. I’m over it. I’m reclaiming my body and rejecting the notion that I exist only to be visually pleasing.

Sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw your life down the drain just to see where you’ll come out on the other side. The most profound beauty emerges from the ashes of destruction. And by that, I mean that sometimes you have to burn your life to the ground in order to experience the life that is truly meant for you. It is in letting go that we are forced to carve our own destiny. We must be willing to relinquish all we once held dear if we are holding on with fear. If you believe in the power within yourself, anything is possible. Because the truth is, anyone who is someone first started out as a delusional dreamer.