Rootbound

by Tarah DeWitt

Because that’s the singular constant in life, isn’t it? That one minute you are completely obliterated by it, and then in the next moment, it carries you toward something else, regardless of whether or not you’re still emotionally reeling.

If you don’t feel again, and actually take care of your emotional business, it won’t just go away. The same thing is going to happen to you. You’re going to shit your pants … emotionally.”

Tait Von Frankenstein, or something to that effect, practically wears a “fuck off” sticker on her forehead.

“I am so sorry that you had to grow up thinking that just because you were observant enough to see what other people needed, that it was your responsibility to be considerate of that, or to ever put yourself second, Tait. I hope you can … I hope you can see yourself through our eyes, sometime, and see how beautiful and incredible you are, and see how much you have to be proud of—not just your work, although you should be so damn proud of what you do, sweetheart—but be proud of yourself, of your life.”

I close my eyes. “It felt like this was … a date.” I open them to see him twitching that hard jaw again. “Honey, they’ve all been dates to me. I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”

I fucking know I want into her soul. She’s crawled beneath my skin, tattooed herself onto me with her wacky laugh, her kindness, her damn goofiness. She feels inevitable to me, and I have the desperate need to make her feel the same. To prove to her that this, whatever the hell it is between us, is worth seeing more of.

Also, how do I keep you? Is it way too soon to feel like this? I think you’re my soulmate and I never thought that was a real thing before I met you. You’ve turned my thoughts into an endless stream of cheesy romcom lines that are somehow applicable and understandable now. You had me at hello.

“I take it Grady never chased you around with a knife?” “What?! No. Oh my god, you did that?!” “Hey! I resent that assumption. She did that to me! And that’s actually a very common sibling rite of passage.”

ok but why is this so common??? I thought I was the only one who’s been chased with a knife 💀

“I’m right here with you Tait. I’m feeling all the same things. This isn’t one-sided, and you’re not imagining things on your end. I know I have to keep working for you, for that trust, and I’m going to.”

Adopt as many animals as you want, wherever you want, Tait. In California, in Idaho, just grab any and every bit of happiness you deserve. Any living thing that has your love is the luckiest thing on the planet.

I meant what I said. I will be here, waiting, and ready whenever you are, however long you need. And here’s the thing … As much as you make me want to be a better man for myself, you’d be the main character in my life, Tait, whether you like it or not. I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive. I’d make sure you’d never forget how fascinating you are, always. If you’d let me, I’d cherish you. I love you.

All love, at some point, is going to be devastating, isn’t it? We all just choose to be brave, to go after what we want, who we want … even if it means potentially losing a piece of ourselves.

“Oh my god. Henry, her name … Gemma Nola.” “Oh.” I see it in his face when he realizes it, too. “It’s fucking Emma Logan with the letters rearranged! She goddamn Tom Riddled me!” “She goddamn Tom Riddled you.”