Rootbound

by Tarah DeWitt

Just being in her atmosphere is addicting. She’s funny, she’s smart, witty, moody. Hell, she’s got a labyrinth of a mind and working my way through it is how I’d like to spend my days.

But now, instead of just knowing I’d love to get in her pants, to be her friend … Now I fucking know I want into her soul.

She feels inevitable to me, and I have the desperate need to make her feel the same.

“Impossible question?” she asks me, quietly. I nod against the top of her head. “Was that the best sex of your life, or…?”

“Tait, I’m back here writing sonnets in my head about it. Yes, that was the greatest sexual experience of my entire life.”

Also, how do I keep you? Is it way too soon to feel like this? I think you’re my soulmate and I never thought that was a real thing before I met you. You’ve turned my thoughts into an endless stream of cheesy romcom lines that are s...

At least she chose me to trust, and whether or not she realizes this bit yet, it hits me that I know I love her.

The feeling is nothing like the unfurling of a rose, nothing like the tentative, slow burn I recall. It’s like busting open a can of biscuits. I know the feeling’s there, I know what’s going to happen every time I acknowledge it, but it shocks me nonetheless.

Loved the ilustration

“I mean, it literally sounded like that. You were all ‘I went four-wheeling, I went Rocky Mountain hiking, I went—2.7 seconds—in a pond with Cowboy Thor,’” she sing-songs, badly.

I’m going to be as straightforward with you as I can. Just hold my hand and I’ll hold yours, and we’ll both get to where we’re headed together, okay?”

“Can we just enjoy the hell out of tonight? And worry about the rest tomorrow?” And when he says this, the feeling that fills me is equal parts love, gratitude, and mourning. Because Henry has always given me exactly what I’ve wanted, plus what I’ve needed. From that first night when he dropped the conversation and played card games, to each time he’s said what I’ve needed to hear without expectation, to the space he’s allowed for us to become friends—

“I love you, Tait,” he says, the words bursting from him like he couldn’t stop them. “RiiRuhRooRoo,” I say around the cake, and then I laugh and cough cake into his face, but say with clarity, “I love you,

Adopt as many animals as you want, wherever you want, Tait. In California, in Idaho, just grab any and every bit of happiness you deserve. Any living thing that has your love is the luckiest thing on the planet.

I meant what I said. I will be here, waiting, and ready whenever you are, however long you need. And here’s the thing … As much as you make me want to be a better man for myself, you’d be the main character in my life, Tait, whether you like it or not. I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive. I’d make sure you’d never forget how fascinating you are, always. If you’d let me, I’d cherish you. I love you. -Henry

All love, at some point, is going to be devastating, isn’t it? We all just choose to be brave, to go after what we want, who we want … even if it means potentially losing a piece of ourselves.

What makes this worth it is that there will be heartbreak, because of how damn good it will be until that happens.”

“Even if this fails in a less than spectacular fashion, Henry, I want to love you until then. I want to love you until it’s devastating.

“I want to put down roots here: beside you, across a pond from you, somewhere new with you, I don’t care. You’ve made me want to do that, to plant myself somewhere and flourish.” My forehead falls to her stomach until I can steady my breathing. “I want to love you until I’m absolutely devastated too, Tait. I’m going to.”

Why does a fire move with more speed uphill? Because it craves only light, only