Rigger's Mistake (Sons of Erebus: Reno, NV #1)

by Misty Walker

The hot July sun stings the back of my neck, but I don’t dare move into the shade. Anything more than breathing will set off my piece-of-shit father. His hand clamps onto my shoulder, as if he could make us look like a unified family, but his punishing grip says otherwise.

Fuck.” The curse is barely audible as I feel the heavy weight of my secret transfer from me to him. Not all of it, but certainly some. It’s not fair to loop him into this, but I can’t deny the relief knowing I’m not alone in it anymore. “I’m sorry.” Naked and exposed, I plead with him to understand. “Goddamn it, Navy. What the fuck do you have to be sorry about? Huh?” Wrinkles form at the edges of his eyes. “I didn’t want to do it, trust me. I didn’t, but I had no other choice.” “You think I don’t know that? You were raped, Navy.”

He stands, pulling me to my feet, not sparing my nudity even a glance before wrapping me in his arms. He holds me so tight it hurts, especially by my ribs, where Monroe said there was certainly a fracture, but physical pain means nothing. Not when you’ve experienced the emotional pain I’ve been through. And right now, in this moment, with his arms around me, is healing me. “You’ll never go back there, you hear me? Not even to check on your mom.” “Okay.” I had already resolved myself to this the night before, but having him impose the rule takes away the remorse I felt for deciding it. “Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed.” “I can do it by myself.” “No,” he says with a steely determination. “You’re not doing this alone.”

I close my eyes as his hands massage my chest before his touch turns into a whisper across my side where I’m bruised. Soon, he’ll be to the dirtiest part of me, and while I was okay with everything up to this point, I don’t know if I want him washing his dad’s cum from between my legs. On instinct, my thighs squeeze together. When his hands leave me, I open my eyes to see him squirting soap onto a washcloth. My cheeks heat at the realization that he knows what I’m hiding. His voice is a whisper, rough with emotion. “If you don’t want me to do this, I won’t, but please know that I want to. I want to wash him from your body, make sure all of him is gone, and then I’ll make damn sure you never so much as hear his fuckin’ voice again.” “Okay,” I say because that was always the most degrading part of this process, and it’s felt so good to pass the shame and guilt over to him, so maybe this will feel good too.

I’ve never felt so cared for and pampered as when he brushes out my tangled hair, rubbing my arms and legs with lotion before helping me into a clean pair of underwear and a sleep set. He doesn’t say a word through it all, letting his touch say everything on his mind. I’ve pictured how the “Ray chapter” of my life would end so many times, and never did it look like this. I imagined throwing him the middle finger as I drove away for good. I even imagined getting that gun out of his car and shooting him before leaving, but having Colin come back into my life has been an unexpected blessing. Maybe that’s why there’s still a niggle of doubt that this is really it.

“Shit, Navy.” I quirk a brow with a smile. “You’ve been calling me Navy. Guess that means I need to call you Rigger.” “It’s a good way to start over.” I nod. “It is.”

I search for my answers in her hazel eyes but come up short. So instead, I say the only thing I know with certainty. “I love you, Navy Kennedy.” “Blue.” I give her a puzzled look. “Huh?” “My middle name. It’s Blue.” I smile and cup her face. “I love you, Navy Blue Kennedy.”

“You okay?” he whispers. “Yeah.” “You wanna talk about it?” “No.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’m here, Navy.” I try to fight it and stay irritated, but those two words nestle deep inside my heart. He’s here. I’ve done nothing but push him away since he came back into my life, and he’s done nothing but prove he won’t make the same mistake he did all those years ago. Can I trust him? God, I want to. Maybe it’s the exhaustion or the weight of his arm and warmth of him pressed against me, but I quickly fall back asleep with his words running through my head. I’m here.

“How do you feel?” he asks. “How do I look?” “Strong,” he says confidently, righting the strap of my tank that had fallen off my shoulder. And it’s the best compliment I’ve ever received. How am I supposed to keep my distance when he says things like that and crawls into bed with me to make sure I’m okay? “Let’s get you up. I thought we could eat breakfast outside.”

“Is there someone specific you want to have sex with? Maybe the guy who’s been sleeping in your bed every night?” She gives me a knowing look. I cover my face with my pillow. “I don’t know. Maybe.” There have only been two nights that Rigger hasn’t slept next to me, and that was because he had a charity ride. I fought it at first, my stupid heart always wanting to push him away, but he showed up even when I gave him attitude about it. Actually, he’s been showing up for me every day since he chased me down outside the Honey Pot.

He keeps a drawer here with T-shirts and sleep pants now, and there hasn’t been any kissing, minus the forehead kisses when he leaves me each morning. He also tells me he loves me every day, but love can mean many different things. I wouldn’t blame him if he’s no longer interested in me like that, especially after the shower, when he cleaned between my legs. There’s nothing sexy about that.

“He really cares about you. I can’t think of anyone better.” “So you think I should talk to him about it?” She smiles widely. “Yes. I think you should fuck your stepbrother.” Well, okay then.

“I’m glad you feel that way because I think we should have sex.” Thank fuck I wasn’t taking a drink of my water when she said that because I would’ve sprayed it all over her. Of all the things I thought she’d say, that was last on the fucking list. A million thoughts run through my mind, but one specific one forces its way to the front of the line. “Are you ready for that?” “Honestly, I don’t know, but I want to work toward it.” “Work toward it,” I say slowly. “Yeah. Danielle suggested we go on a date.” “A date,” I deadpan. I’ve never been on a date, not even in high school. I had no interest in getting to know girls. I wanted in their pants and figured out how to make that happen without taking them on fucking dates. But this is Navy, and I like spending time with her. I spend every second I can with her; taking her out on the town might actually be fun.

Opening the bathroom door, I find Rigger crouched in front of my frogs, giving them a couple of brine shrimps. “You’re making them fat,” I scold him. “It’s just a little treat.” “Uh-huh.” I fold my arms and lean against the wall. No one can tell me there’s anything more adorable than a big, strong biker sneaking my dwarf frog treats. My chest warms, and a calm settles over me. This is the man who can give me back what’s been taken; I just know it.