it seems clear that the psychotherapeutic concern over healthy boundaries has little to do with love as I have described it. Rather, the establishment of boundaries here signals the failure of love. Specifically, “healthy boundaries” are encouraged when the mutuality of love has been lost. The other (e.g., an abusive spouse) is actively hurting the individual. And the morbid self-concept of the person in therapy is allowing this abuse (in its many manifestations) to continue.
