Trying to change another person is manipulative, controlling, and arrogant, and it proves that we’re primarily concerned with our own happiness, not our partner’s. And, in any case, because that other person’s attitudes and behaviors are the result of his own lifetime of experience, they’re almost impossible to change. With enormous effort and persistence, it is possible to change some things about another person. Some of us attack people or play the victim so effectively that we really can get our partners to behave differently. But even if we do that, our victory must be hollow, because
...more
