“The man lives like a pig,” Joan angrily complained to her wise friend. “He throws his stuff all over the floor and then I have to clean up after him. It doesn’t matter how many times I talk to him—he never listens.” “So,” said the wise man, “you expect Tyler to be neater and more considerate of you, is that right?” When Joan agreed, her friend went on. “Then your relationship is doomed. Relationships result from the choices people make independently. Tyler has chosen to be a pig, and he gets to make that choice, even if it’s inconvenient for you. He’s almost certainly been a pig all his life,
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