On the other hand, when we are chronically made to feel like we don’t matter, when we are abused, ignored, or made to feel marginalized, we can behave in ways that force others to take notice of us—whether that’s obsessing over a perfect image, overworking, developing an eating disorder, or acting out in extreme ways (a school shooter being among the most visible and tragic examples). A lack of mattering is a strong predictor of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide. When we don’t feel like we matter, we can turn inward: we give up, drink to escape, and even self-harm.
