When we like someone and are excited about the possibility of a new friendship, that feeling (like all our feelings) can be very intense. Sometimes we respond to that feeling by acting as if a secure connection already exists: we share intimate details about our lives, make elaborate future plans, hyperfocus on them to the detriment of other relationships and obligations, or blow up their phone or social media to a cringe-inducing extent. Sometimes this behavior scares people off. Other times the person responds well but is disappointed later when we can’t keep up that level of intensity. In
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