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February 15 - February 17, 2025
“I’ve fought an army of manticores, and the dark magic of a lich. Both tasks pale in comparison to resisting the urge to shred that gown off you and shoving my tongue down your cunt.”
Gaaaa dayum
“It’s a lot less painful than what your woman would go through if you put her through childbirth. You can’t expect her to go through worse pain if you yourself can’t even offer her this.”
Mmmmhm
“… Pies?” I asked. Of all the things I thought a dragon would ask for, sweets weren’t one of them. “You eat pies?” “No, I shove them up my ass,” he growled. “Yes, I eat them. There’s a shop on Main Street called Sonia’s Sweet Treats. I want three of her lemon meringue pies.”
Hahahaha
“I did,” a chipper voice came. “Name’s Alexis, nice to meet ya. I’d shake your hand, but alas, I am but a sword.”
Aw Alexis hahaha
A dust-covered pause filled the air. “You’re doing this because you couldn’t get bitches?” Alexis asked.
Hahahaha
I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.
😂😂😂
“Oh, thank goodness!” Alexis let out a loud sigh. “I gotta be honest with ya, Big Daddy Dave. At first I was like, ‘Damn, this group looks like they jack off on crystals and kick puppies’ and then I saw y’all praying to a glowing puddle. That’s when I knew everything was gonna be OK.”
No im dead
“The only thing running from you is your hairline,” I hissed. “Brie, stab this balding bitch!” Alexis hollered.
😂😂😂🤦♀️
I looked around the water, checking to see if anyone else has appeared in the water. “Psycho! Who is WE? I just told you to stay the fuck away from me.”
😂😂😂
“I CAN MOVE!” she cried again. “I CAN MOVE AND YOU ARE ALL FUCKED!”
😂😂
His answer was a menacing growl. “Is that ‘grrr, yes I love you. Run away with me, light of my life’?”
Dead 😂😂
