That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf (Mead Mishaps, #2)
Rate it:
Open Preview
Kindle Notes & Highlights
61%
Flag icon
One perk of being a woman of weight is that you often had the chest to match all those late-night cheese plates.
61%
Flag icon
A deep, insecure voice in my head said I didn’t deserve this. That there was no way something like becoming a fated mate to a beautiful, fun werewolf would ever happen to me of all people. Maybe it was right. Or maybe it could go fuck itself.
62%
Flag icon
“Oh, gods.” “They’re not going to help you now, Lamb.”
62%
Flag icon
“Sorry, love. I just don’t feel like sharing you right now.” If I wasn’t so drunk off my orgasm, I might have noticed sooner how loud his heart was beating. How his eyes flashed from the normal blue to a deadly looking red. “No one is going to take you from me,” he declared in a voice so feral it was almost unhinged.
63%
Flag icon
“This is all I can do to ease my obsession for you. What I want is to turn you. Brand my mark into your flesh until you feel the same need I do. I want every demon to take one whiff of you and know this cunt belongs to me.” Sweet dancing baby goats. This man is a monster made out of every book lover I’ve ever pined over.
64%
Flag icon
Felix held my chin and forced me to look at him. “Eyes on me, gorgeous.”
64%
Flag icon
“On our left you’ll find a pink one-legged bird, also known as the flappy flap. Some say flappy flaps can unhinge their jaw and swallow a man whole. It’s me. I say that.”
64%
Flag icon
“Oh, now this is a real treat, Barbara! On our right, you’ll see the shapely ass of some muscular heartthrob as he absolutely goes to town on the woman beneath him. Just look at that form. It’s a wonder and a marvel that her intestines haven’t been crushed into oblivion, what with that massive horse cock Blondy’s slinging,” said the disembodied voice.
65%
Flag icon
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I am seduced,” said the voice. I looked at the sword in the sand. “Did… did you say that?” “I did,” a chipper voice came. “Name’s Alexis, nice to meet ya. I’d shake your hand, but alas, I am but a sword.”
jen
MY MAIN BITCH IS BACCCCCCKK ALEXIS MY BABYGIRL!!!!!!! 🥰😍💕💗💖✨🧨🗡️
66%
Flag icon
Tree bark sprayed around him from the violent force of his swing. Alexis screamed and cursed at him anytime her blade met wood. “Stop!” she wailed. “This is not my intended purpose! I cut flesh and emotions. This bark will dull my blade!”
66%
Flag icon
“My demands are reasonable,” she sobbed. “I just want to go to the beach and see half-naked men running around. The way nature intended.”
66%
Flag icon
“You’re looking a little dull. So I’m finding something to polish you with.” “For real? That’d actually be really nice. It’s been a while since—” She paused as Fallon stopped near something on the ground. “THAT IS DEER SHIT!”
67%
Flag icon
“What happened to the terrified human that was too scared to leave her farm?” “She fucked a dragon and helped kill a god.” Cinnamon shrugged. “It changes a gal.”
67%
Flag icon
“She’s being coy!” Alexis shouted. “He had her bent six ways till Sunday in a meadow.”
68%
Flag icon
“Knot? On a dick? Tell us about this knot.” “Preferably with imagery, if you can draw,” Alexis chimed.
70%
Flag icon
“Do you know where the dragon’s wife is?” he asked, perking up. “Yes!” she answered brightly. Then fell silent. “Will… will you tell me?” “No. I ain’t no snitch.”
71%
Flag icon
A dust-covered pause filled the air. “You’re doing this because you couldn’t get bitches?” Alexis asked.
71%
Flag icon
Alexis cut him off. “My, you sure love to talk. Ever wonder what it would be like if you stopped?”
72%
Flag icon
I imagined the task would have been a lot easier if I believed in things like exercise and crunches.
72%
Flag icon
“She looks half dead already. No offense Bonnie.” “No, you’re right. I feel like shit.”
73%
Flag icon
I couldn’t help but eye the burly woman who just pulled a full ax out of her skirt. She locked eyes with me and shrugged. “It’s my good luck charm. I’m Becca, by the way.”
73%
Flag icon
I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.
75%
Flag icon
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a man stepped inside while reading a scroll. He looked up at our group, who immediately froze in place. Wide-eyed, he closed the door. “Fuck!” Usha cursed. “Grab him!”
75%
Flag icon
“THE WOMEN ARE L—” A shoe hit him on the back of the head, cutting off his announcement. He stumbled forward and crashed into a wall at the end of the hall.
77%
Flag icon
“I gotta be honest with ya, Big Daddy Dave. At first I was like, ‘Damn, this group looks like they jack off on crystals and kick puppies’ and then I saw y’all praying to a glowing puddle. That’s when I knew everything was gonna be OK.”
77%
Flag icon
“Fuck!” Serena’s voice came out as a terrified squeak. Yet the woman charged forward all the same.
78%
Flag icon
“The only thing running from you is your hairline,” I hissed. “Brie, stab this balding bitch!” Alexis hollered.
80%
Flag icon
“Don’t tell me you’re just another one of those opportunistic ass-hats that thinks they can take over just because Myva was killed?” Delighted laughter met my ears. “Child, I was Myva.”
80%
Flag icon
Memories flitted across my vision. Images of kingdoms falling at my feet, statues sculpted in my likeness. We weren’t just better; we were a goddess. The heady feeling of power felt like fine wine against my lips. If we wanted it, we simply took it. Territories, gold, spells, anything.
81%
Flag icon
“Oh, what’s wrong?” I asked. “My reading choices don’t make you uncomfortable, do they?”
jen
Defeating a GOD with the power of shifter smut Beautiful
82%
Flag icon
“I’ll explain the basics to you.” “I don’t want that.” “No need to twist my arm about it, I’ll tell ya,” I chirped, waving the creature off. “There is a deeply forbidding aura in this water, and it is not coming from me.”
82%
Flag icon
“I CAN MOVE!” she cried again. “I CAN MOVE AND YOU ARE ALL FUCKED!”
83%
Flag icon
“Felix, love? Do you know who I am?” His answer was a menacing growl. “Is that ‘grrr, yes I love you. Run away with me, light of my life’?”
85%
Flag icon
Fuck, I loved him. I loved him so much and he didn’t even have the decency to tell me straight up I wasn’t his fated mate. “What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from breaking. Finally, he looked up from his book. “Brie.” Brie, not Lamb.
86%
Flag icon
“What happened to the nameplate?” My mouth quirked, and I stroked my fingers over the masculine bridge of his collarbone. “I may have… thrown it into the woods.” He gripped the back of my head and let his lips trace against my own. His other hand pressed against the small of my back until I was flush against him. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
86%
Flag icon
“I love you.” His breath hitched. “Say it again.” “I love you, Felix.” He cursed under his breath. “Sweetheart, I’m afraid I may have lost some of my hearing in the battle. Say it one more time.” I ran my fingers through his soft hair and kissed him. “I’ll repeat it as many times as you need me to.”
88%
Flag icon
question: when’s the last time you actually spoke to a human woman? No, Cinnamon and Usha don’t count. Those two are a special breed, all their own.” I thought for a moment. “Alexis.” “Is a sword,” he retorted. “What’s your point?” I growled.
« Prev 1 2 Next »