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February 7 - February 9, 2025
One perk of being a woman of weight is that you often had the chest to match all those late-night cheese plates.
A deep, insecure voice in my head said I didn’t deserve this. That there was no way something like becoming a fated mate to a beautiful, fun werewolf would ever happen to me of all people. Maybe it was right. Or maybe it could go fuck itself.
“Oh, gods.” “They’re not going to help you now, Lamb.”
“Sorry, love. I just don’t feel like sharing you right now.” If I wasn’t so drunk off my orgasm, I might have noticed sooner how loud his heart was beating. How his eyes flashed from the normal blue to a deadly looking red. “No one is going to take you from me,” he declared in a voice so feral it was almost unhinged.
“This is all I can do to ease my obsession for you. What I want is to turn you. Brand my mark into your flesh until you feel the same need I do. I want every demon to take one whiff of you and know this cunt belongs to me.” Sweet dancing baby goats. This man is a monster made out of every book lover I’ve ever pined over.
Felix held my chin and forced me to look at him. “Eyes on me, gorgeous.”
“On our left you’ll find a pink one-legged bird, also known as the flappy flap. Some say flappy flaps can unhinge their jaw and swallow a man whole. It’s me. I say that.”
“Oh, now this is a real treat, Barbara! On our right, you’ll see the shapely ass of some muscular heartthrob as he absolutely goes to town on the woman beneath him. Just look at that form. It’s a wonder and a marvel that her intestines haven’t been crushed into oblivion, what with that massive horse cock Blondy’s slinging,” said the disembodied voice.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I am seduced,” said the voice. I looked at the sword in the sand. “Did… did you say that?” “I did,” a chipper voice came. “Name’s Alexis, nice to meet ya. I’d shake your hand, but alas, I am but a sword.”
MY MAIN BITCH IS BACCCCCCKK ALEXIS MY BABYGIRL!!!!!!! 🥰😍💕💗💖✨🧨🗡️
Tree bark sprayed around him from the violent force of his swing. Alexis screamed and cursed at him anytime her blade met wood. “Stop!” she wailed. “This is not my intended purpose! I cut flesh and emotions. This bark will dull my blade!”
“My demands are reasonable,” she sobbed. “I just want to go to the beach and see half-naked men running around. The way nature intended.”
“You’re looking a little dull. So I’m finding something to polish you with.” “For real? That’d actually be really nice. It’s been a while since—” She paused as Fallon stopped near something on the ground. “THAT IS DEER SHIT!”
“What happened to the terrified human that was too scared to leave her farm?” “She fucked a dragon and helped kill a god.” Cinnamon shrugged. “It changes a gal.”
“She’s being coy!” Alexis shouted. “He had her bent six ways till Sunday in a meadow.”
“Knot? On a dick? Tell us about this knot.” “Preferably with imagery, if you can draw,” Alexis chimed.
“Do you know where the dragon’s wife is?” he asked, perking up. “Yes!” she answered brightly. Then fell silent. “Will… will you tell me?” “No. I ain’t no snitch.”
A dust-covered pause filled the air. “You’re doing this because you couldn’t get bitches?” Alexis asked.
Alexis cut him off. “My, you sure love to talk. Ever wonder what it would be like if you stopped?”
I imagined the task would have been a lot easier if I believed in things like exercise and crunches.
“She looks half dead already. No offense Bonnie.” “No, you’re right. I feel like shit.”
I couldn’t help but eye the burly woman who just pulled a full ax out of her skirt. She locked eyes with me and shrugged. “It’s my good luck charm. I’m Becca, by the way.”
I do not know if my tits were built for murder. I don’t even think they were built with my back in mind.
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and a man stepped inside while reading a scroll. He looked up at our group, who immediately froze in place. Wide-eyed, he closed the door. “Fuck!” Usha cursed. “Grab him!”
“THE WOMEN ARE L—” A shoe hit him on the back of the head, cutting off his announcement. He stumbled forward and crashed into a wall at the end of the hall.
“I gotta be honest with ya, Big Daddy Dave. At first I was like, ‘Damn, this group looks like they jack off on crystals and kick puppies’ and then I saw y’all praying to a glowing puddle. That’s when I knew everything was gonna be OK.”
“Fuck!” Serena’s voice came out as a terrified squeak. Yet the woman charged forward all the same.
“The only thing running from you is your hairline,” I hissed. “Brie, stab this balding bitch!” Alexis hollered.
“Don’t tell me you’re just another one of those opportunistic ass-hats that thinks they can take over just because Myva was killed?” Delighted laughter met my ears. “Child, I was Myva.”
Memories flitted across my vision. Images of kingdoms falling at my feet, statues sculpted in my likeness. We weren’t just better; we were a goddess. The heady feeling of power felt like fine wine against my lips. If we wanted it, we simply took it. Territories, gold, spells, anything.
“Oh, what’s wrong?” I asked. “My reading choices don’t make you uncomfortable, do they?”
Defeating a GOD with the power of shifter smut
Beautiful
“I’ll explain the basics to you.” “I don’t want that.” “No need to twist my arm about it, I’ll tell ya,” I chirped, waving the creature off. “There is a deeply forbidding aura in this water, and it is not coming from me.”
“I CAN MOVE!” she cried again. “I CAN MOVE AND YOU ARE ALL FUCKED!”
“Felix, love? Do you know who I am?” His answer was a menacing growl. “Is that ‘grrr, yes I love you. Run away with me, light of my life’?”
Fuck, I loved him. I loved him so much and he didn’t even have the decency to tell me straight up I wasn’t his fated mate. “What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from breaking. Finally, he looked up from his book. “Brie.” Brie, not Lamb.
“What happened to the nameplate?” My mouth quirked, and I stroked my fingers over the masculine bridge of his collarbone. “I may have… thrown it into the woods.” He gripped the back of my head and let his lips trace against my own. His other hand pressed against the small of my back until I was flush against him. “You’re so cute when you’re mad.”
“I love you.” His breath hitched. “Say it again.” “I love you, Felix.” He cursed under his breath. “Sweetheart, I’m afraid I may have lost some of my hearing in the battle. Say it one more time.” I ran my fingers through his soft hair and kissed him. “I’ll repeat it as many times as you need me to.”
question: when’s the last time you actually spoke to a human woman? No, Cinnamon and Usha don’t count. Those two are a special breed, all their own.” I thought for a moment. “Alexis.” “Is a sword,” he retorted. “What’s your point?” I growled.
