That Time I Got Drunk And Saved a Human (Mead Mishaps, #3)
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9%
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Great. Now I’m storming.
9%
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“I know what you mean,” she said. “I always sleep better when it’s storming outside.
Heather
Definitely his mate. awww
10%
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It tasted like bark that was fermented in a mushroom for no less than a century before it was filtered through the dirty toes of depressed cyclops.
23%
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Were all dragons assigned tiny butler animals or was it a rite of passage kind of thing?
23%
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“Gods, you talk fast,” Dante sighed, resting his chin on his hand. “You didn’t feel the need to breathe during any part of that declaration?”
32%
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With the gates wide open and the demons at large, the potential for exciting new experiences looked to be limitless. Instead, fate saw fit to give me a fucking marriage of convenience. Fate is such a bitch.
32%
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It’s like Grandma Nutmeg always said: being a whiny little twat never solved anything. Well, that and how to hide the taste of arsenic in case your husband ever manhandles you.
35%
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In the meantime, I guess I’m actually going on a road trip with a dragon. To see a unicorn.
37%
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It’s going to take more than a day to fall in love with someone.” “A day? Princess, I fell as soon as I saw your reaction to snow.” “I hate you.” “We’ll work on that.”
38%
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“I refuse to dignify your ‘if’ with a response. You are my wife, and we are clearly falling in love.”
53%
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I was both in awe of and in deep fear of her. If this wasn’t love, it was damn close.
68%
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“These are clearly a sign of affection after our date last night. I just need to figure out how to tell her what I’m feeling so she knows she’s mine and fully accepts me as her mate.”
Heather
He's so fucking adorable.
68%
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I wanted to fly up in the sky, rip the sun god’s still-beating heart from his chest and lay it at Cherry’s feet so the days began and ended at her discretion. Nothing less would be good enough.
Heather
God damn. Thats how you say I love you.
69%
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“STOP SCREAMING ABOUT FINDING A VIRGIN,” Usha hollered. “THE VILLAGERS ARE ALREADY WARY OF YOU LOT AND THIS IS EXACTLY HOW RUMORS START.”
77%
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“We regret that our gladiator games have caused you and your husband distress. Please understand that any large-scale immigration comes with its trials and challenges.
Heather
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
78%
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Dante’s eyes bled from gray to violet. His body trembled as gray smoke rose from him like steam from a kettle. He stroked back a few tendrils of my hair, just below the bruise on my head. “Who did this, Cherry?”
Heather
Screaming. Crying. Throwing up
78%
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My human hearing may have been nothing compared to that of a demon, but I swear on my life I heard everybody’s ass clench.
Heather
L. M. A. O.
78%
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“Doesn’t matter. I’ll drown this land in fire and you can point out their ashes later.”
Heather
He loves her so much
79%
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“Well, that’s done. Are we raiding the king’s liquor cabinet or what?” We all looked at him in silence. “What? He’s dead. No use to him now.”  I like Yala.
80%
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“The basilisk is the obvious choice,” Dante began. “Sure the bite hurts, but it is not going to kill me. But having to spend an entire night with fifty enraged pixies judging my every move? A flesh wound hurts far less than emotional manipulation.”
82%
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Mirroring the orc’s excitement, Felix’s body shook rapidly and then, bam, a werewolf sat in his place. “Yala! I can’t believe it’s you!” Behind the massive wall of fur, I saw the tip of a rapidly beating tail smack the shit out of whatever innocent furniture was next to him.